Some think that the best way to motivate and encourage people to work hard is to pay them based on how much they produce and sell. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is often argued that, the best way to motivate and encourage public to work hard is to pay them based on how much they produce and sell. I agree to a larger extent to the given statement and my inclination is elaborated in the following write-ups. The foremost reason to agree with the given statement is: When public are rewarded or paid
accordingly
, there is a comepetition created in the organization and in
this
race, everyone would love to get first and earn more fund. Like when we suppose a company which pays
according to
how much production we do and how many products we sell,
then
the employees would push thier limits and would endeavor really hard to achieve success. Another reason for agreeing with the statement is: As public would earn more fund based on their performance, they will spend more check buying things and
this
would start rotation of fund, so the poor society could earn cash.
This
organization would help the governmnet to manage things, Nowadays there are so many people who work hard but they are not paid enough, so there would be justice for everyone.
However
, there are side effects to
this
also
like, when
this
type of scheme is started there would be dirty politics played, like few community would cheat the organization and they would take more salary. There would be conflicts created between employees as people would feel jealous of eachother.
To sum up
, we can say that
this
scheme would endeavor well, but only thing is that the rules and regulations should be implimented and followed strictly and there should not be any sort of conflicts, other wise
this
is really nice scheme, so that the deserving community get rewarded.
Submitted by vrajgirigosai0079 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth and specificity in arguments. It fails to provide a clear and comprehensive response to the task. More relevant and specific examples should be provided to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure and organization of ideas are partially present, but the essay lacks coherence and cohesion due to unclear connections between sentences and paragraphs. The introduction and conclusion should be more clearly defined and the essay should follow a more logical progression of ideas.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates some relevant vocabulary and attempts at complex sentence structures, but there are inconsistencies and inaccuracies in the use of vocabulary and sentence structures. More precise and varied vocabulary should be used to improve the lexical resource.
grammatical range
There are noticeable errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and agreement. The essay lacks grammatical accuracy and demonstrates limited control of a range of grammatical structures. More attention should be given to using a variety of sentence structures and ensuring grammatical accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: