In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
There
has
the argument that Verb problem
is
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
people
living older will bring several benefits more important than made
problems Verb problem
apply
to
governments. I think the situation is more Change preposition
for
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
then
Correct your spelling
than
postive
aspectsCorrect your spelling
positive
,
because the cost is not fairly what they Remove the comma
apply
brings
.
On the one hand, some Change the verb form
bring
group
support the Fix the agreement mistake
groups
persptive
that older Correct your spelling
perspective
peolpe
can bring several benefits when they live longer. One of the Correct your spelling
people
contribute
is in the historical field, because many Replace the word
contributions
of
studies need the person who really Change preposition
apply
live
in that time, their experience is important evidence to those studies. Change the verb form
lives
Therefore
, the lack of elder people
might cause
the truth of history harder to Verb problem
make
investiget
, and traditional culture and craft may be lost forever in the Correct your spelling
investigate
furture
world. Correct your spelling
future
However
, regard
Change the form of the verb
regarding
the
technology Correct article usage
apply
advinced
quickly, Correct your spelling
advanced
advances
internet
or high-tech Correct article usage
the internet
equitment
can protect Correct your spelling
equipment
those memory
in the same wayChange the determiner
that memory
those memories
well
.
Rephrase
apply
On the other hand
, many group
think the elderly population is full of Change to a plural noun
groups
disadvantage
for governments and society. In more detail, the main reason Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
be consider
is there are Change the verb form
be considered
be considering
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
then
Replace the word
than
less
children in Change the quantifier
fewer
morden
Correct your spelling
modern
time
, the situation made the average of elder Fix the agreement mistake
times
people
that young people
need to care is
Change preposition
for is
highher
than before. The tough aspect is Change the word
higher
people
need spent
more time Change the verb form
to spend
to care
old Verb problem
caring for
people
, nor
more Correct word choice
and
contribute
things Verb problem
apply
to
society Change preposition
for
such
like
work, Change preposition
as
will
Correct pronoun usage
which will
lead
the government harder to mangent the system of Verb problem
make
country
, because there are lack of labour Add an article
the country
a country
of
every field in Change preposition
in
this
country.
In my clonsue
, I Correct your spelling
clone
closure
though
the advantages Correct your spelling
thought
is
not outweigh of Change the verb form
are
disadvantage
, Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
although
older people
will bring several benifets
Correct your spelling
benefits
such
like
Change preposition
as
history
field, Correct article usage
the history
but
the cost Remove the conjunction
apply
of
young Change preposition
for
group
and society is higher than the value.Fix the agreement mistake
groups
Submitted by bookcool5 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
structure
You should ensure that your essay has a clear structure that includes an introduction with a thesis statement, several coherent body paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarises the main points and your stance. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the essay lacks coherence and strong logical progression between ideas.
development
Develop your points more fully with clear, relevant examples that directly relate to your argument. Your essay should not just present a list of ideas but delve into details that illustrate each point convincingly.
accuracy
Check for grammatical errors and typos before submitting your IELTS writing test. Frequent grammatical mistakes and typos can significantly lower your score. Proper use of complex sentence structures and vocabulary will enhance the quality of your essay.
cohesion
Use linking words and phrases appropriately to create cohesion and to guide the examiner through your ideas. Logical connectors indicating contrast, addition, cause and effect, etc., can greatly improve the readability of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.