Climate change is a big environmental problem that has become critical in the last couple of decades. Some people claim that humans should stop burning fossil fuels and use only alternative energy resources, such as wind and solar power. Others say that oil, gas and coal are essential for many industries, and not using them will lead to economic collapse. What is your opinion? Support your point of view with relevant examples.
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The excessive use of fossil
fuels
has led to significant climatic variations, posing a major environmental problem. While
some argue for the termination of burning fossil fuels
and the adoption of renewable resources such
as wind and solar energy
, others believe that the use of fossil fuels
is essential for various industries. However
, I disagree with the latter perspective. I firmly believe that alternative energy
sources
have the potential to replace conventional sources
like coal and petroleum.
On the one hand, As the world's population grows, so do consumption needs. Manufacturers are creating new products using oil, gas, and coal to meet these demands, resulting in improved living standards, trade, and economic growth. For example
, According to
a Wikipedia survey, wealthy nations are among the largest users of fossil energy
. Excessive mining disrupts the earth's structure and contributes to the occurrence of natural disasters. Additionally
, mining in oceans has detrimental effects on marine life and can potentially trigger devastating tsunamis along coastal regions. Furthermore
, the combustion of fossil fuels
releases hazardous gases into the atmosphere, resulting in significant air pollution.
The reliance of our industries on fossil fuels
is undeniable. However
, if their extraction is halted, it could lead to a catastrophic economic collapse. To avoid this
, we must encourage the adoption of alternative energy
sources
. Unfortunately, these sources
are not yet widely available. While
wind and solar power are greener, they are still more expensive. To reduce our dependence on fossil fuels
, we must invest in developing cost-effective technologies that can harness the power of solar energy
.
In conclusion, the utilization of fossil fuels
leads to various adverse effects and must be ceased. Nevertheless
, achieving this
goal necessitates the enhancement of available technologies for utilizing alternative energy
sources
.Submitted by TUTOO on
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Task Response
Your essay adequately addresses the task, with both sides of the argument mentioned. However, the supporting arguments for your opinion need to be more developed. To achieve a higher score, ensure that you provide a balanced discussion before stating your clear position, which should extend throughout the essay. Expanding on the examples and providing specific evidence or case studies could further enhance your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of coherence and cohesion. Nonetheless, better logical sequencing and more varied cohesive devices would enhance overall clarity and flow. To improve, try to use a wider range of linking words and make sure that paragraphs are logically arranged to better lead the reader through the argument. Additionally, a clearer distinction between the main points and supporting details will add to the essay's effectiveness.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
