IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The maps below compare the current layout of a public
park
 and when it was opened in 1920.
Overall
, the
park
 nowadays
look
Change the verb form
looks
show examples
 extremely different from 1920, new areas were added and others were removed. The fountain was removed from the central area,
instead
, there is a
rose
garden
 in the middle of the
park
.
Also
, the places where people could sit before were moved to the central area, surrounding the
rose
garden
.
Furthermore
, the
rose
garden
 which was at the left of the entrance
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Ardon Avenue, now is a café. Next to the
café
Add a comma
café,
show examples
 there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a playing area for children, which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was a pond for water plants. The
rose
garden
 and seats in the south-west of the
park
 were removed, and where there was a stage for musicians, now is an amphitheatre for concerts.
Finally
, at the left of the entrance
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Eldon Street, where there was a glasshouse that now turned
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a water feature, which is at the right of an
entrace
Correct your spelling
entrance
 of
underground
Add an article
the underground
show examples
 car
park
.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ideas should be organized logically with clear progression. Work on creating clearer topic sentences for each paragraph.
task achievement
For task achievement, thoroughly address all parts of the task. Make sure to summarize the important differences and developments clearly, and provide adequate detail where necessary. Avoid generalizations and focus on specific, relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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