Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#universities #numbers #students

It is claimed that salary is the most necessary factor to take into consideration when picking a speciality. In my opinion,

this

is true that the salary is quite important in order to meet one’s financial needs for their daily

life

and

also

their

life

goals

in general, but it is not the most important. The first and main factor is the possible lack of happiness coming from doing

the

Correct article usage

show examples

job which you do not actually like. Imagine that every day you have to do certain things that you hate.

This

would definitely affect your daily mood, stress level and relationships with your family, friends and colleagues as well. I surely believe

this

type of person is waiting for the weekend during weekdays. Another point when setting the salary as your main priority

while

choosing a field is ignoring your

life

goals

. There are people who have special

goals

such

as reforming their nation, and their country, and

also

dealing with charity stuff, helping people and so on. I think that if they prefer money to their

goals

, they will have inner unsatisfaction which can

also

make them unhappy. In conclusion,

whereas

money has some importance in our

life

, I support that when picking a job,

this

definitely should not be at the top of our list in order to ensure happiness which surely is the most critical thing in a lifetime.

Submitted by yusifakhmad on Tue Nov 21 2023

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task achievement

The essay lacks a clear introduction that sets the context for the topic at hand. The opening statement does not introduce the topic of whether universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. The essay does not address the given topic but instead diverges to discuss the importance of salary in choosing a job. This results in an essay that is off-topic and does not fulfill the task requirements. To improve, make sure to read the prompt carefully and remain focused on addressing the question directly throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is weak because it does not follow the topic provided. Although the essay has an introduction and conclusion, they don't relate to the prompt about gender equality in university admissions. The body paragraphs seem to discuss a different topic (the importance of choosing a career based on passion versus salary), which does not provide a coherent argument about the initial topic. For improvement, create a clear thesis statement that directly answers the question and ensure all body paragraphs support that thesis with on-topic arguments and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

232 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender diversity
fostering innovation
educational experience
enforcing gender quotas
merit and potential
individual achievements
natural differences
gender equality
reducing gender stereotypes
balanced workforce
traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
fluctuating applicant numbers
compromise on quality
diversity aspects

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Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?

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In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Today, many people do not know their neighboars in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings. This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?