It is difficult for people to get enough physical exercise in cities. What are the causes and solutions?

#people #exercise #cities

Nowadays, many

people

find it difficult to

exercise

in their daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, especially those who live in cities. So in

this

essay, we will explain what are the causes of the scarcity of activities and give some possible solutions to improve their physical

exercise

. Many reasons lead to citizens, especially young

people

, difficulty getting enough

exercise

Firstly

people

might have

time

to do some sports after work because they may get tired after the long journey so the only thing they want is to lie over. A person who starts working at 8 a.m. and ends

upat

Correct your spelling

up at

6p.m. probably does not have the energy to do physical activities,

for instance

Secondly

, workers opt to travel in public transportation or drive vehicles on their own to work or school rather than walking or cycling,

therefore

they might do

exercise

Finally

, as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technologies are so advanced nowadays,

people

are spending most of their

time

on electronic devices all day,

such

as shopping online.

This

leads citizens to find lazier

due to

all the things that can be delivered to their homes. Despite that less physical activity can lead to health issues and no socialisation with others, we can find solutions to it. Companies could shorten the working hours or have gyms in their workplace so employees can relax.

Additionally

, a proposal of imposing laws to lower the use of private cars to encourage citizens to use public transport or share-bicycle will

also

persuade them to do some

exercise

And as

Correct word choice

show examples

a solution to the excessive use of smartphones, youths can set an average of

time

to devote to gadgets and after the

time

consumed phone or any other devices call off.

Therefore

, they could

exercise

their body whether doing some sport or going out with friends and families. Summarising, it is difficult today for

people

, especially youngsters to get the right amount of

exercise

in cities rather than those who live in small towns. A range of solutions can be implanted to promote doing sports.

Submitted by rachel131 on Tue Nov 21 2023

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coherence cohesion

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coherence cohesion

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coherence cohesion

The main points of the essay are somewhat supported, but providing more specific examples and evidence would strengthen your arguments. Use real-world examples or data to support your points.

task achievement

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task achievement

Ideas are presented but could be articulated more clearly and comprehensively. Aim for clarity and precision in language use.

task achievement

Your examples are relevant, but they are too general. You need to provide more specific and detailed examples to illustrate your points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

334 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Urban lifestyle
Sedentary jobs
Physical activity/exercise
Motorized transport
Cycling
High density living
Recreational facilities
Time constraints
Commuting
Unhealthy food options
Public awareness
Health and well-being
Active transportation
Infrastructure improvements
Workplace initiatives
Community events
Incentives
Gym memberships
Wellness programs

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It is difficult for people to get enough physical exercise in cities. What are the causes and solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities. Others say that it depends on other factors. What is your opinion?

Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages businesses to move to the rural areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Over the last few decades, the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. What problem has this caused? What solutions can you suggest to this issue?

Some people say that the only reason for learnig a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.