Should the international community do more to tackle the threat of global warming? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the present time, the international community including all citizens should more seriously tackle global warming.
As a result
, I would like to discuss why we should be more concerned about this
problem and give suitable examples of each reason.
First , the
human actions Correct article usage
apply
such
as the development of science have mainly affect
Wrong verb form
affected
on
global warming including climate change since they would compete to be the greatest technology country building convenient living. Change preposition
apply
For example
, in Switzerland, constructing the accelerator particle because of finding the tiniest particle has released a
amount of gas destroying the ozone layer. Change the article
an
Moreover
, within 100 years, the number of living areas is going to decrease by about 20 per cent in spite of having technology for adding new regions but the increasing earth's temperature will extend the desert and sea. Hence
, certain people will move to the new residence it
Correct pronoun usage
which
also
becomes a migration issue in regional operation
.
Fix the agreement mistake
operations
Additionally
, the authority should take care of not only the people but also
other species in the world that look after the background of the world. So, the maintenance of animals and plants is important to help the earth. As a result
, If the global community still ignore this
issue, climate change will significantly have an impact on creature extinction. Certainly, the human will not abandon many resources
To conclude
, all governments should rapidly research the way to solve this
. Otherwise
, A lot of creatures will vanish in the world and we cannot comfortably stay on the land .Submitted by amittawin on
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task achievement
In your introduction, you should aim to clearly paraphrase the question and state your position on the issue. This will set a strong foundation for the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and use cohesive devices to indicate relationships between ideas. This enhances the logical flow and makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Your essay has touched upon the needed discussion, but it should be developed further. Ensure that you fully explore and support your main ideas with specific details or examples.
coherence and cohesion
The logical sequencing of information could be improved. Remember that each paragraph should follow logically from the one before it, leading to a solid conclusion that summarises and reiterates your main point.
task achievement
The examples provided in your essay could be more specific and relevant. This adds weight to your arguments and helps the reader understand your perspective.