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Band 4.5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers
I agree with
speculation
Add an article
the speculation
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 that said: “In the
future
Add a comma
future,
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 all cars, buses and trucks will be
driverless
. The only people travelling inside
these
Change the determiner
this vehicle
these vehicles
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vehicle
 will be passengers”. In the way I
see
Correct pronoun usage
see it
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, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
 advantages that will
come over
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
 the disadvantages. In
this
 essay, I will compare the well-known
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 and
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
.
Firstly
, the advantage
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
driverless
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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 is the
safety
driving
Change preposition
of driving
show examples
. Every vehicles with
driverless
 system has a great censor with enormous radius that can be tracking a lot of things. If there is a thing which is being a problem detected, the
vehicle
 will be automatically turn into the
safety
 roads. Actually, when vehicles have been ready, the system inside them has been get a lot of researches to make the most
safety
 one. Rarely, the
driverless
 system being negative information and problematic around the public cause the accuracy of the censor can detect with the fastest program.
Therefore
,
driverless
vehicle
 can be counted as the most
safety
vehicle
 than driving manually. For the
second,
what is the most popular disadvantages? It is the expensive price. The international journal from MIT said, “The comparison between people who used and not used
driverless
vehicle
 are 35 percent and 65 percent, because the price is not cheaper than ordinary
vehicle
.” The
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
show examples
 is the component
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 is rarely to get, and hardly to produce.
This
 is one of the new
innovation
Fix the agreement mistake
innovations
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 but, in the
future
Add a comma
future,
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 the price will
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decrease
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.
Overall
, from
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 arguments above the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 of
driverless
 vehicles outweigh the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Submitted by igbalalfariezy on

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position. In this essay, the opening sentence does not clearly convey your stance, making it necessary to read further for clarity.
task achievement
Develop your ideas with clear and relevant examples. Your example about safety driving could be strengthened with statistics or results from studies.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a logical sequence of ideas. Transition smoothly between your ideas and paragraphs for better readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases and try to vary your language for more sophisticated expression.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear conclusion summarizing the main points and reiterating your position for a strong finish to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: