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Band 4.5

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#tourism #industries #economies #world #damage #cultures #environment
In recent years, tourism
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 believed to be one of the most developing industries and
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
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 much to economies all over the world.
However
, its damage can affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local features and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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is overlooked
Verb problem
apply
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. Personally, I totally agree with the view above.
To begin
 with, on the
culture
Replace the word
cultural
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 front, the flow of visitors coming to a particular place can erode its local features and traditions. To explain, when the number of
traveller
Change to a plural noun
travellers
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 is considerably rising, their demand
about
Change preposition
for
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 cultural experience are
also
 highly growing, and they need to be required by local
local
Remove the redundancy
apply
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people. Because of
this
, it may result in the
decreases
Fix the agreement mistake
decrease
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 in local features.
For example
, in recent years in Vietnam, some of the tourist destinations which have several traditional activities turned into organizing other modern activities
to
Change preposition
apply
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suitable with visitors, so
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 lost
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 traditional nature
gradually
Rephrase
apply
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.
Moreover
, apart from the local cultures, the environment is
also
 affected;
however
, it is ignored by most
of
Change preposition
apply
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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. With a great number of visitors coming to, some popular attractions face up to the dilemma of the dilution in
sighseeings
Correct your spelling
sightseeings
sightseeing
, the environmental pollution by the mountains of litter,
ect
Correct your spelling
etc
.
For instance
, the historic site that draws tourists, like Hung Temple is suffering from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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habitat destruction,
rubbish
Correct word choice
and rubbish
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issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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due to
 the sheer volume of people going
their
Replace the word
there
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in
Change preposition
on
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 occasion. In conclusion,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
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 tourist industries are one of the most developing aspects and help increase income
soures
Correct your spelling
sources
, the eco-system is overlooked. In my point of view, I strictly agree with
this
 view.
Submitted by tranthitotam05111983 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
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