most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people’s #lives

It is sometimes argued that increasing

people

's lives quality should be the priority of science areas and explorations. I completely agree with

this

idea

due to

the money and time which

people

spend on science fields which will be

further

discussed in the following paragraphs. First and foremost, the government and related charges throughout the world are investing huge loads of money in scientific projects and explorations in order to boost human life.

As a result

, they are hopeful

Change preposition

that

show examples

the investigation's results to help satisfy human demands.

For instance

, the US government has allocated astronomical amounts of money to space projects since 20 years ago and

also

has sent several space crafts during these years to identify an alternative location for human living.

This

investment is because of provides the best location for creatures after the earth is destroyed.

Secondly

, the major contributor to

this

belief is the time and energy which scientists put into knowledge fields. It is almost universally accepted that nothing will be achieved unless with patience.

Nevertheless

people

who are working on an invention or a scientific area should allocate their energy

as well as

their youth to a particular project. So, they do repetitive experiments to reach an impressive accomplishment and fulfil

people

's aspirations.

Accordingly

, society

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

spends time on time-sink projects in order to get favourable results to make the world a desirable place to live. In summary, I do subscribe to the theory that scientific investments should be beneficial to the community and human beings and satisfy their needs based on the pressing reasons discussed above.

Submitted by z.rajabi on Fri Nov 24 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic, with a topic sentence that is developed coherently with supporting arguments and examples.

coherence cohesion

Work on including a wider range of cohesive devices and transition phrases for seamless logical flow.

task achievement

Elaborate on your examples with more specific detail to enhance the depth of your analysis and argumentation.

task achievement

Strive for a more varied vocabulary and sentence structures, to achieve a higher level of lexical resource and grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
enhancing
quality of human life
advancements
medicine
healthcare
scientific research
solving societal problems
improving living standards
global issues
climate change
food scarcity
technological advancements
limitations
negative consequences
ethical considerations
sustainability
environmental preservation

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most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use.

Some people believe that reading is always a good habit. Others feel it depends on which books a person is reading. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages?

Governemnts should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.