Several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantaged background. However, others say that crime is caused by a person's nature.

#people #crime #background #person #nature

Some

people

claim that a key driver of

crime

is not being able to get an

education

due to

poverty,

while

others believe that

crime

happens because some

people

are born

in not being able

Verb problem

unable

show examples

to feel guilty for wrong behaviours.

This

essay will talk about both sides and their positions, and I will give my personal opinion on

this

issue. On one hand, it might be that

people

from

low-socioeconomic

Correct your spelling

low socioeconomic

show examples

backgrounds did not have a chance to get a proper

education

For example

, in criminals’ childhood, their parents might have been busy working to earn money for them, and there were no adults at home teaching them the right behaviours or correcting them for their wrong actions. For another instance, they could not afford to go to school where they could get

moral

Correct article usage

a moral

show examples

education

and learn moral principles, or they had to work

instead

of going to school at a young age.

This

makes

people

with

Change preposition

show examples

poverty grow up not being able to distinguish between what is right and wrong and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not take responsibility for their actions, leading them to commit

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

On the other hand

, others claim that they were born not being able to feel guilty for

unmoral

Correct your spelling

immoral

actions. There are many reports that say that criminals who did not grow up in poor backgrounds committed

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

for fun. Some of them did not even want to apologise to the victim’s family, as they did not feel guilty for them.

This

makes some

people

believe that

people

with

unmoral

Correct your spelling

immoral

natures

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

commit

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

and

this

is something that cannot be corrected.

While

some believe that

people

who are born with an

unmoral

Correct your spelling

immoral

nature mainly commit a

crime

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

others claim that

crime

is mainly caused by lack of

education

given and taught to criminals

due to

poverty, which I agree with. I believe that to address

this

issue, the government needs to implement a scheme that provides children with a poor background with free home

schoolings

Fix the agreement mistake

schooling

show examples

so that they have an opportunity to get

moral

Correct article usage

a moral

show examples

education

and grow up as

socially-responsible

Correct your spelling

socially responsible

show examples

adults.

Submitted by rlatpdms1411 on Sun Nov 26 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

To achieve a higher score in coherence and cohesion, ensure that ideas flow naturally from one to another with the use of varied linking devices. Consider revising some sentences to avoid repetition and improve readability.

Task Achievement

For task achievement, aim to provide a more balanced discussion by addressing both points of view equally, providing clear topic sentences and expanding on specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

346 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantaged background. However, others say that crime is caused by a person's nature.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, the government promotes public transport as the primary means of transportation and discourages private vehicle ownership. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

These days, the wealthy in society often throw away perfectly good products in order to replace them with more up-to-date models. Do the environmental disadvantages of this development outweigh the economic advantages?

You have recently moved to a different house. write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter: -explain why you have moved -describe the new house -invite your friend to come and visit

In some countries, students live with their family while studying at a university. In other countries, students attend university in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from home while attending university outweigh the disadvantages?