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Band 5.5

Purchasing cars for the first time in developing countries has led to severe problems. Discuss the causes of this issue and propose potential solutions.

#cars #first #time #countries
Initial purchasing of cars is worsening road conditions in developing
countries
. The root cause of
this
 issue is the cult of chasing modernity.
However
, changes in modernism can be employed to overcome it. The primary reason for people in developing
countries
 depositing massively in order to own a
car
 is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 ideal stating that the
car
 is a symbol of civilization. Because the standard of living in developing
countries
 is improving significantly, citizens in these nations
also
 become more willing to buy goods. They are tightened to consumerism, star chasing luxury things and automobile is the most popular.
Consequently
, a large number of
car
 owners worsen the traffic in developing nations.
For example
, Vietnam, a developing area,
facing
Wrong verb form
faces
show examples
massive traffic jams owing to the increase in
car
 usage. Fortunately, a solution can be found in individual attitudes which can be affected by the habit of using transport from people in developed
countries
. The modern areas are where the bias for automobiles stems from, if citizens in these areas can change the way they travel, it will
also
 change those in the rest
countries
.
This
 can be helped by government policies in
increase
Replace the word
increasing
show examples
 excises on buying cars and
also
 taxes on
car
 ownership. Take German for consideration, because of the correct policies from
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and a high sense of response from citizens, they have lowered the
car
 proportions and even switched to using bikes mainly. In conclusion, buying a
car
 for the first time is rooted in the notion that the
car
 is the symbol of civilization.
On the contrary
, changing the ideal of modernism can improve the situation.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of points throughout the essay. Use paragraphs effectively to organize ideas and use cohesive devices to connect them.
task achievement
Make sure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Give equal attention to discussing the causes and proposing solutions. Offer clear, developed ideas with specific examples or evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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