You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment in your letter describe the problem with the equipment explain how this problem is affecting your work say what you want the shop or company to do

#work #home #piece #equipment #job #shop #company

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction regarding the web camera that I purchased from your company two days ago. My customer number is 12040. Recently, I acquired a web camera from your firm to attend Zoom

video

calls.

However

, the

video

quality is consistently poor rendering my image blurred during meetings.

This

has hindered the intended purpose of the webcam and is impacting my ability to conduct virtual meetings effectively. It is crucial for me to meet my clients on

video

during conferences in order to better engage with them. These teleconferences

also

aid us in meeting virtually

while

working remotely.

Nevertheless

, the poor quality of my

video

, people in conference calls cannot see my presence and connect with me; As

this

is significant for my sales operations role to have face-to-face meetings with my customers. Please get back to me as soon as possible. I would like to get a refund for my webcam and recommend you check the webcam's functionality in the store before delivering it to your customers.

Thus

, avoid delivering the damaged web camera to the buyers going forward. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Harini Venkatram

Submitted by harini93.ind on Tue Nov 28 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear and distinct idea, with corresponding supporting details.

coherence cohesion

Consider using a variety of linking words and phrases to improve coherence between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Your opening and closing are appropriately formal, maintaining a consistent tone suitable for a letter of complaint.

task achievement

To strengthen the task achievement, make sure you elaborate on all points required by the task, providing sufficient detail for each.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

199 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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