IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

People think that the government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to solve environmental problems. Give your opinion.

#people #government #cost #fuel #cars #vehicles
It is widely believed that one solution to address environmental issues would be that
governments
 should impose high costs for private cars and other means of transportation.
While
 I consider that might be a useful short-term measure, I would argue that others might have
even
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an even
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 greater impact in the long-term period. If national authorities increased the price of petrol, it would solve two crucial environmental problems.
Firstly
, in terms of private cars, motorists would limit the number and the length of their trip to compensate for the extra expense.
Governments
 could use the money raised to invest more in transport infrastructure and to enhance residents' awareness of public transport and environmental threats.
Secondly
, from the perspective of freight services, some companies would transport their goods by rails rather than by trucks to save their operation cost. Both these activities could cut down on emissions and reduce the greenhouse effect.
On the other hand
,
while
 the increased cost of fuel could be executed as an interim solution, I think
governments
 should adopt two policies to address environmental problems efficiently in the future.
Governments
 could support the research and development process of electronic cars and other vehicles operated by renewable energy. In Germany,
for instance
, the local authorities have subsidized 1,000 USD for every person converting from a fuel car to an electronic one and reduced taxation for electrical automakers. Another policy is to quickly and widely develop means of public transport which will apply cutting-edge technologies to attract
such
 users. These policies could bring sustainable benefits
such
 as helping in the effort to combat global warming and improving the quality of air. In conclusion,
although
 increasing the cost of fuel might be useful in tackling many environmental problems, other measures should be implemented by
governments
 to gain long-term achievements.
Submitted by phuongdong.nguyentran on

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task response
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic at hand and that your opinion is evident from the outset.
coherence cohesion
Include a wider range of cohesive devices and appropriate paragraphing to enhance the logical flow. Avoid over-repetition of conjunctions such as 'while' and 'secondly'.
task achievement
Expand on supporting examples to enrich the argument and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic. Where possible, reference specific studies or statistics for a stronger impact.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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