Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with this? How do you think space exploration will change in the future?

Certain people think that space exploration should be more done with national honour than international benefit. I strongly disagree with
this
statement.
As a result
, I would like to discuss
this
issue and represent an idea of how these discoveries will change in the future.
Firstly
, the discovery of the universe will bring not only national Pride but
also
new knowledge for the development of any technology.
For instance
, in the USA, when the first human went to the moon, Neil Armstrong, GPS was developed to follow the rocket and used to calculate the path to travel to the moon.
On the contrary
, in the present time, the international dignity in those explorations is reduced since several countries can succeed in these space projects that have already become the general technology.
Hence
, the people should focus on to establish the
Additionally
, the limit bound of discovery has been extended since a number of scientists have not yet understood in occurrence and finishing universe.
However
,
although
there are many theories to describe
this
phenomenon It is still abstract and does not exist.
For example
, the Big Bang theory has not been seen now but it can be measured by cosmic microwave background.
Furthermore
, humans have the opportunity to find other creatures on another planet and
then
they can successfully find the answers to the questions that have been unanswered for so long.
To conclude
, people have the chance to see other things in the space. So, the government should support the mutual benefits globally more than the pride in their country
Submitted by amittawin on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and logical flow which makes it difficult to follow. It's crucial to organize your ideas in a manner that progresses logically from one to another, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details and a concluding sentence that wraps up the main point of the paragraph.
Task Achievement
Your introduction does include a thesis statement which suggests that you will discuss both parts of the prompt, but the development of ideas related to national pride and the future of space exploration is uneven and lack depth. Be sure to elaborate your points more comprehensively and derive a well-rounded conclusion for a better Task Achievement score.
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