In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a postive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #postive #situation

For some

people

, possessing a

house

is crucial rather than renting one. One of the main reasons is

people

see

this

ownership as a symbol of wealth and I think

this

is a negative

situation

because

people

become less happy

as a result

of mortgage

loans

. Among

people

, belongings are considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

an indicator of financial status. With

this

point of view,

people

with their own

house

are seen as rich or have a high-paying job and

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

doing very well financially.

For instance

, in China, women’s first criterion who wants to

marrying

Change the verb form

marry

show examples

man

Add an article

a man

show examples

is to have a

house

because they believe that they can provide a comfortable family life without thinking about any money issues.

However

this

situation

can be negative because it creates competition.

People

who want to

seen

Add a missing verb

be seen

show examples

as wealthy

then

take mortgage

loans

just to prove themselves. In the long run, these

loans

create a long path ending up with being unhappy. You may waste your life just to pay off these

loans

and not be able to allocate a budget for any other activities. A couple whom I had known for a long time ended up getting divorced because of

this

problem. Women insisted on buying a

house

with the income from the wedding without considering their budget. Their whole five-year marriage went with paying off debt and the uneasiness of the

situation

which led them to their inevitable end. In conclusion, the main reason why ownership is important in some countries is its perceived good financial status yet it may lead to being unhappy and create a negative

situation

for

people

Submitted by asik.melliss on Thu Nov 30 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay requires significant improvements in coherence and cohesion. The structure lacks clear transitions and cohesive devices, which makes the flow of ideas difficult to follow. Introduction and conclusion are present, but they offer minimal context and synthesis, respectively. The main points are present, but their support is weak. Using a variety of connecting words and clearly distinguishing between paragraphs with topic sentences and concluding sentences would increase clarity.

task achievement

The response touches on the task, but it fails to develop a full answer. More comprehensive ideas and in-depth analysis should be added to satisfy the prompt's requirements. Resistance to generalizations and inclusion of balanced views, alongside a wider range of specific examples or evidence would enhance the response immensely. Additionally, the comparison between the implications of ownership versus renting could be explored further.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a postive or negative situation?

Fully explain your ideas

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Some people think watching TV every day is bad for children. Others think it is good for developing children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

TOPIC: Nowadays, some people like to give help to the local community or provide people with direct help. Other people prefer to give money to national and international organizations. Discuss both methods and give your own opinion on which is better.

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