IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter ● describe the problem with the equipment ●explain how this problem is affecting your work ●say what you want the shop or company to do

#work #home #piece #equipment #job #shop #company #●explain #●say
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
 email to complain about the
printer
 that I purchased from your store. On the 17th of November, I bought a LaserJet
printer
 from your establishment with the expectation of purchasing a high-quality product.
However
, I am deeply disappointed to report that the product is not working as expected and does not meet the standards of quality I associate with your store.
Firstly
, the ink was spreading all over the paper when I initiated printing. Though the device had power, it showed offline on my laptop but I ensured it was not my laptop that caused the problem. It was actually the
printer
 which was not working with my wifi connection.
Furthermore
, as you know my job involves hosting campaigns and I just need access to a
printer
 to print flyers every day to promote the campaign. It is preventing me from doing my job. Considering the given circumstances, I kindly request you to provide either a replacement for a fully functional device or
refund
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a full purchase price as given in your store's refund policy. I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible. Yours sincerely, Jee
Submitted by jeeanay on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea and appropriate supporting details. The logical flow between issues with the printer and the impact on your work can be improved.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing appropriately to structure your letter more effectively. Aim to create clear connections between the points you present.
task achievement
Fully extend and support the points you make. While you have described the problem and how it affects your work, adding more detail could enhance your response.
task achievement
Maintain a consistently appropriate tone throughout the letter. Your writing tone is suitable but be sure to stay formal in all aspects of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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