Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In today's evolving world,
health
plays a significant role in everyone
lives. Change noun form
everyone's
Therefore
, many kinds of treatment are available nowadays, including traditional methods of healthcare as well as
alternative
medicine
. It is argued that,
Remove the comma
apply
number
of people who try Change the article
the number
alternative
treatments instead
of visiting their usual doctor are
increasing. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Although
this
action presents some advantages, I believe that the drawbacks associated with it are far greater.
There some
drawbacks of Add a missing verb
are some
alternative
medicine
. First of all, this
type of treatment is not scientifically proven and this
one does not provide complete recovery. Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
alternative
methods are
Verb problem
have
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
a
popularity Remove the article
apply
between
society, they can be harmful and even wrong. One of the main causes of Change preposition
in
it
can be Correct pronoun usage
this
an
artificial professionals who offer their Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
service
. Fix the agreement mistake
services
This
situation is made worse because individuals do not verify them. As a result
, their health
problems tend to getting
worse. Good examples include paramedics in the mass starvation time in the Kazakh steppe who came in the yurts but Change the verb form
get
do
not provide substantial recovery.
Despite Wrong verb form
did
this
there are several advantages to avoiding regular doctors. Personally, I think that Add a comma
this,
health
system should be free but there are some countries that encourage paid-for recoveries. Correct article usage
the health
Moreover
, hospitals are often overcrowded and the queues tend to be large, but there is
no policies regarding Change the verb form
are
this
issue. Another benefit of alternative
medicine
can be
accessibility, which is at home. Wrong verb form
is
In other words
, you should not go to the crowded hospitals and wait. In my opinion, alternative
treatment is more effective in terms of providing a healthy lifestyle. For example
, acupuncture which was very popular in China in the last
decade can positively affect on
blood circulation Change preposition
apply
as well as
remove muscle tension.
In conclusion, the public health
system should be improved. As a result
, alternative
medicine
will be less competitive, which lead to popularity
of regular doctors. Yet, Add an article
the popularity
alternative
treatments present more disadvantages than benefits, but it
can change in the future Correct pronoun usage
they
as well as
overall
Add an article
an overall
the overall
health
system, where there will be some innovative policies.Submitted by ielts8bandplus on
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Introduction & Conclusion
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Logical Structure
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Supporting Main Points
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Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
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Relevant Specific Examples
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