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Band 3

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
Many believe that
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
 of
plants
 and
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 is the major environmental
issue
 of our era.Others think that apart from
plants
 and
animals
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 environmental problems are more important.In
this
 essay,I will discuss both views and give my opinion. First look at
loss
 of
plants
 and animal
species
 is the more concerning environmental
issue
.The first argument
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
favour
Change the verb form
favours
show examples
this
 view is
ecosystem
Add an article
an ecosystem
the ecosystem
show examples
.It is believed that our
ecosystem
 is linked by
plants
 and
animals
.
Moreover
,if our
ecosystem
 is disturbed
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 our lives are in danger.
Loss
 of
plants
 and animal
species
 are main
issue
 to our
ecosystem
.
For instance
,soil erosion is avoided by
plants
.The second reason which
support
Change the verb form
supports
show examples
this
 statement is
is
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
food.It is considered that
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
 of
plants
 and
animals
 means
shortage
Add an article
a shortage
show examples
 of vital
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 of food.
Furthermore
,
plants
 and
animals
 are the main eatables for humans for centuries.
Hence
loss
 of
plants
 and animal
species
 is
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 environmental
issue
 of
this
 time.
On the other hand
,other environmental situations which are
danger
Replace the word
dangerous
show examples
 to
environment
Add an article
the environment
an environment
show examples
such
 as carbon emission,noise and smoke are
also
 concerning to
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 time.
Moreover
,carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
release
Wrong verb form
released
show examples
 from factories,traffic and air conditions are causing
depletion
Correct article usage
the depletion
show examples
 of ozone (
layer
Add an article
the layer
show examples
 around the earth which protects from harmful rays from
sun
Add an article
the sun
show examples
)
loss
 of
ozone
Correct article usage
the ozone
show examples
 layer results in many diseases.Noise and smoke have
also
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 impact on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 of
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 life. In conclusion,
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
 of
plants
 and animal
species
 has collectively more impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 present
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
isuues
Correct your spelling
issues
.
Submitted by jamalashraf45 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear paragraphing with distinct introductions and conclusions. Use a variety of appropriate cohesive devices consistently throughout the essay.
task achievement
Although you partially addressed the task, it is important to achieve a full response to the question by discussing both views and providing specific examples to support your points. Conclusively state your own opinion with clear, comprehensive ideas.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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