today ,most of people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger.is it a positive or negtaive development in your opinion?to what extent do you support the devlopment?

#people #birth #thirties #negtaive #development #support #devlopment

Nowadays,

instead

of early wedding by a large group of

people

like to marry at their thirty age.

However

, it is reckoned by some pupils are not ready for wedding.

Therefore

, marriage is postponed by these

people

. There are negative effects on

people

's fear of loneliness and need

support

Change preposition

for support

show examples

. It is partly true, that late marriage has now become a trend which creates

problems

mentally and emotionally.

This

essay will elaborate

further

in the upcoming paragraphs. In the modern era, the younger generation is getting their wedding late

due to

difficulty in finding the right

partner

so they avoid marrying early. So late marriages are being affected by pupils. They think too much all the time and feel lonely. It creates

problems

mentally and physically. To illustrate, in my city young

people

are getting late weddings which causes complications in their lives they become smokers and drug intakes.

Hence

, health issues are generated

Change preposition

show examples

lung

problems

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and cardiovascular.

Furthermore

, they are

also

emotionally disturbed by their situation.

In addition

, many youngsters need support from their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

to succeed in their fields. If you have

such

partner

who really supports you

then

you can achieve anything.

Moreover

, you can share all the hardships together and solve them. Without a lifetime

partner

, you may lose confidence in your life.

Consequently

, you have lost hope of a new life. In a nutshell, early marriage has numerous benefits ,

for instance

, companionship, emotional strength and happiness.

Although

young

people

avoid getting married before thirty it has disadvantages. They suffer from illness and emotional

disturb

Replace the word

disturbance

show examples

. In my opinion, youngsters should get married before thirty to avoid mental

problems

and be happy with a new life

partner

Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on Fri Dec 08 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

For Task Achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt in a balanced manner. Your essay should provide a clear opinion on the positive or negative development of the trend toward later marriage and should to some extent reflect on the level of support you have for this development. Extend your arguments with relevant examples and make clear, fully developed points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Regarding Coherence and Cohesion, the structure of your essay should exhibit a clear and logical flow of ideas, with well-organized paragraphs that each focus on a single main point. Use cohesive devices appropriately to connect ideas and paragraphs. Make sure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly identified, and that your introduction includes a thesis statement while your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your essays?

Submit an unlimited number of essays. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

Unlock the Full Potential of Writing9

Unlimited Essay Checks: Practice and perfect your skills.
Detailed Error Analysis: Spot every mistake.
In-Built Grammar Checker: Say no to grammatical errors.
Personalized Suggestions: Know how to boost your score.
Progress Tracking: View your checked essay history.
Still thinking? We have a 14-day money-back guarantee. Take a leap of faith!

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
The pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the UK.
The table illustrates how much many a average family in UK city earned and paid for food and clothes, while the pie charts compare the proportion of those categories in the year 2010 and 2013
4.5
band
Today, many people do not know their neighbours. Why is this? What can be done about this?
As it is clearly observed that these days, many family living in modern society do not know their nearest neighbours. There are many underlying verification why this phenomenon happened, and several methods can be solutions for this happening.
7
band
Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
How to achieve success in personal life is always a hot topic. Although people can make achievements without having an academic qualification, I would argue that higher education is the best choice to ensure a bright future.
6.5
band
Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In this contemporary era, there are contrasting viewpoints where one section believes that there is no point in the traditional culture of their region and the others are of the mindset that it is crucial to maintain the traditional way of life. According to my opinion, the old way of living is beneficial and we will discuss both sides in the subsequent paragraphs.
5.5
band
To achieve personal happiness the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential, than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Write to support this claim.
The growing pressures of Money drive world we have in widely cause graviation material items. However, personal happiness is not achieved through things like work, wealth and success. Though this things maybe attractive and coveted it does not refute the fact that relationships with freinds, colleagues, and family members are the genuine secrets to living happily. This will be proven by bringing up the topic of wealthy superstars, who steadily live in lonely lives and the advice from elderly people based on experience.

today ,most of people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger.is it a positive or negtaive development in your opinion?to what extent do you support the devlopment?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The pictures show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the UK.

Today, many people do not know their neighbours. Why is this? What can be done about this?

Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some believe that people today have no interest in maintaining the traditional culture of their country or region. Others believe that it is still important to people that we preserve a traditional way of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

To achieve personal happiness the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential, than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Write to support this claim.