Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on protection of wild animals, and that money could be better spent on human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?
Colossal resources for wildlife protection
is
a controversial topic nowadays. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
People
believe that it should be allocated to human benefit. I’m holding
Wrong verb form
I hold
an
opposite view that Correct article usage
the
people
should respect the value of nature and spend a host of money and time to preserve our balance
ecological and biodiverse system which could be beneficial for both Replace the word
balanced
human
and Fix the agreement mistake
humans
environment
in the long run. Correct article usage
the environment
This
essay will provide some of
explanations Change preposition
apply
why
Change preposition
as to why
people
should pay attention and put more efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
to
Change preposition
into
the
endangered Correct article usage
apply
animals
.
First of all, when it comes to the endangered animals
and plants on the Earth, we are now fully aware of the importance of natural
impact Add an article
the natural
of
our human life. The missing of every single Change preposition
on
specie
in the Fix the agreement mistake
species
thousand
of fauna could seriously threaten the disruption of Fix the agreement mistake
thousands
food
chain. Add an article
the food
For example
, if the predators like tiger and lion were disappearing, this
could gradually lead to the extinction of the preys
like buffalo, deer and so on. The explanation for Fix the agreement mistake
prey
this
phenomena
is Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
that
the vital role of the former in Correct word choice
apply
term
of stimulating the latter survival abilities in the wild environment.
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
On the other hand
, it is obvious how much human beings
survival reply on Change noun form
beings'
being's
the
wild Correct article usage
apply
animal
when it comes to the medical aspect. Fix the agreement mistake
animals
The precious
and rare medical elements can deter Correct article usage
Precious
people
deceases
Change preposition
from deceases
such
as cancer and Alzheimer which have been successfully found from
the immune system of wild Change preposition
in
animals
. It have been saving a million of
Change preposition
apply
people
from the
serious deceases and offering them a longer and stronger Correct article usage
apply
live
.
In conclusion, I firmly Replace the word
life
to
assert how imperative Fix the infinitive
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
animals
to
humankind and the sustainability of societal growth. It’s Add a missing verb
are to
extreme
unwise to downplay the reality of the Change the adjective
extremely
unbalance
Replace the word
unbalanced
of
ecological and biodiverse Change preposition
apply
system
and Fix the agreement mistake
systems
having
the notion that the funding allocated to preserve the environment for them is verging excess, Wrong verb form
have
people
should even spend more unless otherwise
people
will definitely pay a higher price to save our lives.Submitted by hoangthoakinhte on
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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position in response to the prompt. While the introduction in this essay presents a view, it could be sharpened with a more specific thesis statement that more clearly states the writer's opinion and what the essay aims to discuss.
Task Achievement
To score higher in task achievement, extend and support your main points with specific, detailed examples. This essay lacked concrete, real-life instances or data to back up assertions, which could have strengthened the argument and highlighted the essay's alignment with the prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your essay by improving transitions and connections between paragraphs. The coherence could be enhanced by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly to the next with appropriate linking words and phrases that reflect the logical relationship between ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
