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Band 6.5

The only way to solve increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. To what extent do you agree?

#crime #rate #offenders #parents #skills
The importance of teaching parenting
skills
 to control the crime rate of young offenders which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial
while
 others reject
this
 notion. The substantial influence of
this
 trend has sparked controversy over its potential impact in recent years. I completely agree with the given statement.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate my viewpoints for favouring the positive impact of
this
 trend and
thus
 will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
, the first and foremost reason behind
this
 is that
parents
 are well-wishers of their children. Another striking benefit in
this
 regard is that
parents
 know the youngsters genetically. Categorically, it cannot be ignored that the main reason behind
this
 is that
parents
 spend maximum time with their children and they can easily observe the changing behaviour. So, when
parents
 will have
skills
, nurturing will become better. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reasons stems from the fact that the generation gap is multiplying and communication is falling drastically.
Moreover
, life is busy and interaction is minimal. Youngsters have a complete sense of independence.So, it is important to teach parenting
skills
. Moving
further
, it is pertinent to mention that the rate of offenders is increasing
due to
 loneliness, competition, and high hopes to achieve success. Apart from the reasons mentioned above, it can be clearly stated why many are in favour of
this
 trend. To recapitulate,
according to
 the arguments aforementioned above, one can conclude that the benefits of parenting
skills
 are indeed too great to ignore.
Submitted by jagdeepsingh3699 on

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that this idea is supported with specific reasons, examples, or explanations to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the task. Your essay lacks concrete examples and detailed explanations to fully support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow and connectivity of your essay. Use a range of cohesive devices (linking words, pronouns, conjunctions) to connect ideas within and across paragraphs. Your essay needs clearer connections and transitions between ideas to enhance coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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