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Band 5.5

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #history #house #research
It is unsurprising that
people
 in recent times
show
Wrong verb form
have shown
show examples
 more preference
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 exploring the past
history
 of their properties. The contributing factors might involve self-exploration, interest in culture, and the preservation of historical houses.
Firstly
, human beings have a nature for the unknown, regardless of the past or the future, and
history
 provides information about where they are from and who they are, which helps them explore themselves.
Moreover
, the past customs, traditions, and cultures still have a great impact on
people
's lives now, which attracts
people
's attention to the evolving changes of the building or the land.
By analyzing
Change preposition
Analyzing
show examples
 the mysteries or stories behind the houses,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
 unintentionally raises public awareness of maintaining and preserving the historical buildings and cultures. It is suggested to start
such
 an adventure by obtaining information and knowledge from the city library. Obviously, most records and profiles ranging from the country to the town are kept in
this
 information
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. Meanwhile, these
people
 who are fond of the
history
 of their own house could gather together, post, and share their discoveries on the same platform, which means they can save their work and some repetitive work could be avoided. Regarding the
history
 of the house, I have to say that historians and architects play an important role in promoting new discoveries. So, asking
advice
Change preposition
for advice
show examples
 from specific experts would be a good choice.
Furthermore
, some game companies could devote their efforts to
this
 event, which can make it more interesting and educational for younger generations. In conclusion, exploring the
history
 of residential houses would help identify self-identity and the preservation of these historical buildings and cultures.
Submitted by xuting0701132 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction and conclusion, but could benefit from clearer transitions and more varied cohesive devices to improve flow.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the question, it tends to generalize and does not provide detailed examples to support the points made. More specific evidence or examples would strengthen the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Historical research
  • Genealogy
  • Architectural styles
  • Heritage
  • Relics
  • Oral history
  • Archival records
  • Museum exhibits
  • Historical societies
  • House tours
  • Renovation projects
  • Original blueprints
  • Careful documentation
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