IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that advertising is extremely succesfull at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #succesfull #attention
There is no doubt that advertising is used to sell a product. Some
people
 argue
that is
 extremely successful to attract buyers to purchase the products.
However
, other
people
 believe
that is
 too general and the consumers are not to attracted the advertising. In
this
 essay, I will explain both sides and give my opinion on the latest view. On the one hand, many companies engage in advertising to gain attention from consumers
therefore
 most of them use the same template or idea.
As a result
, the customers are bored with the common display and they are not too interested to curios with the products.
For instance
,
people
 are more likely to skip some of the skin-care adverts on YouTube because every brand uses the same artist and
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
 in display.
On the other hand
, the company uses promotion as a brilliant
method
 to obtain buyers.
That is
 the proper
method
 for the customer as the advert delivers product information.
As a consequence
, the customer might know the specification or type without straightforward to the store. As illustrated, youngsters mostly buy KFC's meals after watching the promotion on Instagram. In my point of view,
this
 is an excellent way to attract
people
 in order to buy goods. They might change their mind about having a product after they see the advert on television. All in all, advertising is a proper
method
 to attract
people
 to buy products.
Nevertheless
, some
people
 believe it obsolete
method
 which expired in terms of engaged buyers.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure throughout, with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Make each paragraph focus on a specific point related to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction should clearly address the question and outline your position. The conclusion should summarise the main points discussed and definitively state your own viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
In the body paragraphs, support your main points with specific, relevant examples. Aim for variety in sentence structure and vocabulary to demonstrate language proficiency.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the task by discussing both views presented in the prompt and by providing a clear opinion. Develop your ideas comprehensively throughout the essay.
task achievement
Use a wide range of vocabulary and sentence structures to articulate ideas clearly and comprehensively. Avoid being repetitive by using synonyms and different grammatical constructions.
task achievement
Include specific examples that are directly relevant to the topic to support your arguments. Ensure that these examples are well-integrated into your discussion and contribute to your overall argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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