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Studying art in school improves students’ performance in other subjects because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That’s why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

#art #school #students’ #performance #subjects #students #that’s #schools
The studying methods at
school
 are developing now. So there are a lot of approaches to the impact of
school
student's
Fix the agreement mistake
students'
show examples
 skills. Some schools enter
art
classes
 hoping that
such
subjects
 will help
students
 to learn new things and be multi-skilled. I disagree with the view of making obligatory
art
classes
 in
school
. In my opinion, it does not work with everyone to make
art
classes
 obligatory, since I think each student is unique. Some
students
 adore visiting
art
classes
 because it may be their hobby or they may just prefer it. When they like studying
craft
Fix the agreement mistake
crafts
show examples
 It can have a good effect in another field of their life.
For example
, It can improve their critical thinking or change their mindset so they will think abroad.
Also
, it will affect their academic performance. On the other side, they will develop as a person since recruitment has mental meals. It fulfils their mental condition. The reason why I do not support the idea of including
art
classes
 in the list of basic
subjects
 is it can not suit everybody. Because some people can not stand arts and think it is just another cause of spending time on the things which are not good for them.
Instead
Add a comma
,
show examples
they prefer to learn something which will help in their professional life. And someone can find it boring so they will pay more attention to physical sport.
That is
 why I do not agree with the opinion of making
art
subjects
 obligatory. If these
classes
 to everybody
then
 people who do not like them can spoil the atmosphere in the class and it can affect another student who is good at
art
 and adores it. These
classes
 must be elective. It
also
 includes
subjects
 like
debat
Correct your spelling
debit
debate
classes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and robotechnic which
students
 can choose what they want It will be more effective for everyone. Summing up, I keep the view that
art
classes
 should not be obligatory.
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
show examples
 have to provide
students
 with the choice of which
subjects
 they will visit.
Submitted by sayazhorabek9466 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure that easily guides the reader through the points made. It's crucial to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs each presenting one main idea, and a conclusion that restates your position. Paragraphs should be organized and each should have a clear topic sentence.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are essential components of the essay structure. In your essay, both seem to be present; however, they are not clearly defined and articulated. The introduction should clearly state your position on the prompt, and the conclusion should effectively summarize your arguments, restating your stance.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear and specific examples. Your essay includes some general statements, but it lacks concrete examples that illustrate your claims. This oversight diminishes the effectiveness of your arguments. Ensure each point made is supported by a specific example or reasoning.
task achievement
Your response to the task could be improved. The essay indicates your disagreement with the statement, but it is incomplete in addressing why arts should not be obligatory beyond personal preferences. A complete response fully addresses the question by examining both sides of the argument, including reasons why some might agree or disagree with the proposition.
task achievement
Work on developing clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. Some of your points are not fully explained, which can leave the reader with unanswered questions. Ensuring that each paragraph contains one clear, well-developed idea with explanations will lead to a stronger essay.
task achievement
Your essay lacks relevant and specific examples that could strengthen your arguments. Including specific, detailed examples is important to show the examiner that you understand the topic and can think critically about it.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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