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Writing Samples /
Band 3

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out . It is pointless to try and keep them alive . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#country #technology #skills #life
It is an undeniable fact that traditional skill plays a paramount role in
Correct article usage
a nation
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nation
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nation's
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 progress. When a country
make
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makes
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 its technology, the
long established
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long-established
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 skills and ways of life vanish. It is fruitless to try and keep them alive.
This
 essay
emphasis
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emphasises
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 towards major inclination of agreement and disagreement which shall be comprehended
further
. To commence with, there are multifarious benefits behind it. First and
the
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apply
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foremost
is
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apply
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, art and sculpture
illustrates
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illustrate
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 the
nation
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nation's
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 speciality and
attract
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attracts
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 people from internationally. To
examplify
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exemplify
 it;
silk
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a silk
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 saree
made
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is made
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 with silk womd saliva and
it
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apply
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is designed
hand
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to hand
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 made which is very famous
in
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apply
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all around India, and
this
 saree
sold
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is sold
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by
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in
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 Surat city only.
Moreover
,
now a days
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nowadays
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 hand made
statueare
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statue are
statue
statuary
 disappeared,
it
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and it
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required
Wrong verb form
requires
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 intense skill to make them . To cite an example;before the smart era , every statue of
temple
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the temple
a temple
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 or any legend
made
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was made
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by
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apply
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with one single stone .
Although
, there are
plethora
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a plethora
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 of positive reasons behind it.,
it's
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Its
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 negative consequences could not be ignored. The pivotal factor is , in
developed
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the developed
a developed
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Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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country
Add a comma
country,
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 they
using
Wrong verb form
use
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advance
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advanced
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 technology to make work faster and
preciously
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more preciously
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. To illustrate it; internationally clothes are made in coded stitch
machine
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machines
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 which
provide
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provides
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 different
type
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types
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 of
design
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designs
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 and
varities
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varieties
.
To conclude
,
nevertheless
, those are plenty of traditional skills,
such
 as
hand made
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handmade
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 saree and statue,
this
 essay restates
towards
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apply
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the matter
of
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apply
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supporting
idea
Correct article usage
the idea
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 that automation is a burning issue
Submitted by renis1795 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas and paragraphs not flowing smoothly from one to the next. It is important to have a clear introduction, several coherent body paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarises the main points.
task achievement
The essay fails to address the task appropriately. The response is incomplete, as it does not sufficiently develop arguments or provide a clear position on the given topic. You must ensure you have a clear opinion and that this is supported throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancement
  • Efficiency
  • Global connectivity
  • Cultural identity
  • Diversity
  • Innovation
  • Coexist
  • Sustainable
  • Eco-friendly
  • Energy-intensive
  • Practical skills
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Homogenize
  • Preservation
  • Global diversity
What to do next:
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