The government is spending a lot of money to discover life on alien planets. Some people think that the government is wasting money and should spend money addressing the problems of the public. To what extent do you agree?
Some people argue that the government is allocating a huge amount of money to discover
life
outside the earth, while
there are still many tasks to be solved. I agree with this
statement,
since Remove the comma
apply
education
and health
problems need to be addressed at the first level to ensure society having
a good quality of Wrong verb form
has
life
.
First,
health
is fundamental
need to be fulfilled. A good quality of Add an article
a fundamental
the fundamental
health
will support people to perform well in their daily works
, Fix the agreement mistake
work
as well as
they can provide helps
for each other. If, Correct subject-verb agreement
help
for example
, health
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
at
certain regions are abandoned, people will not Change preposition
in
thinking
about anything else, since they just struggling to achieve a decent Change the verb form
think
be thinking
life
. As a result
, it will affect badly to the next generation as they do not achieve a good standard health
for living.
Change preposition
of health
Moreover
, education
is another issue to be adressed
almost in every developing Correct your spelling
addressed
countries
. In fact, the Change to a singular noun
country
education
quality are
not evenly equal, which means it Change the verb form
is
only
concentrated Add a missing verb
is only
to
several cities, Change preposition
in
thus
will make
a huge Verb problem
creating
education
gap. Take Indonesia as an example. Education
is well-developed only in big cities, like Jakarta and Yogyakarta. As a result
, younger generations in rural areas do not have the same growth opportunities compared to those who lived
in the central cities.
Wrong verb form
live
To sum up
, many issues that
still have daunting tasks to be solved by the government rather than focused on the unnecessary sector Correct pronoun usage
apply
such
as finding another life
on alien planets. Health
and education
, which are the basic needs for
society, have to be put at the top tier priority.Change preposition
of
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. While your essay included an introduction and conclusion, focus on creating a stronger thesis statement that directly addresses the extent to which you agree with the statement. Also, each body paragraph should elaborate on one main idea, followed by supporting arguments or examples.
logical structure
Your essay showcases an adequate logical structure. However, there can be better transitions and linkage between your points. Aim to use a variety of cohesive devices such as conjunctions, synonymy, and reference words to create coherence across sentences and paragraphs.
supported main points
The main points of your argument are present and align with the essay prompt, but further development and support with specific examples and evidences or studies would strengthen your ideas. Mention real-life statistics, reports or studies that support your perspective.
complete response
Provide a fully developed response to all parts of the task. While your essay touches on the broad idea that government funds should address public issues rather than extraterrestrial research, delve deeper into the extent of your agreement and explore the opposing viewpoint to demonstrate a thorough understanding.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay displays clarity and presents ideas comprehensively. However, to improve clarity and depth, ensure that each paragraph develops a singular idea fully, rather than introducing multiple ideas which may not be fully explored.
relevant specific examples
Include relevant examples to support and illustrate your points. Although you mentioned the case of education in Indonesia, provide more specific examples, data, or case studies that directly relate to how government spending on earthly issues can take precedence over space exploration.