Today's essay topic: *People in all modern societies use drugs, but today's youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society. Make any recommendations you feel are necessary to help fight youth drug abuse.*

In the modern world,
youngsters
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youngsters'
youngster's
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social skills are underdeveloped. Which develops poor communities and many other issues. I totally agree with the statement that people spend more
time
at work than at home. First of all, the teenage
are
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is
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a very sensitive and crucial
time
for every kid.
Which guidance
Correct pronoun usage
Guidance
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has to play a major role in guiding them about bad or good .As
minor
Fix the agreement mistake
minors
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are not mature to make better decisions, they always look for better support. No one else can provide them with better
advise
Replace the word
advice
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,
instead
of their own
parents
. In the absence of their
parents
, they always search for a second option. where the common search they do
on
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apply
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online and start connecting more to the virtual world
instead
of the real
society
. These days it's very common to see in
society
that most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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teenagers
are lost in electronic gadgets.
As a result
, its common behaviour is developing not to talk and share things with anybody.
Moreover
, youngster's brains are not trained to carry that much vast information from online sources. which developed sciatic among them.
secondly
, most of the
parents
spend most of their
time
at work to make extra income. and they forget that their main asset is children's. once the
time
passes and
teenagers
who become adults, they do not care for their own
parents
. which creates a lot of disputes in
society
and families.
Thirdly
, In the absence of the right guidance
in
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apply
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teenagers
develop some criminal behaviours in people. which is very dangerous to the
society
At
Rephrase
Finally
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last
, I agree that
parents
spend their most of
time
at work. which leads to poor development of social behaviour of
teenagers
Submitted by liftruxinc on

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coherence cohesion
Consider structuring your essay more effectively by including a clear introduction that presents the topic, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a single main point with relevant support, and a conclusion that summarizes the main ideas and reflects on the implications or recommendations.
task achievement
Be sure to directly address all parts of the prompt. Introduce the topic of drug use among youth, discuss the causes, the effects, and provide recommendations to combat the issue as prompted. Missing any of these components can significantly impact your task response score.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main point. Follow these with explanatory sentences, examples, and a concluding sentence that ties the paragraph to the main thesis. This helps in maintaining a logical flow and relevancy throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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