Some people think that liking your job is more important than how much money you earn while others think that your salary is more important than how much you like your job. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

The increase of stressed
people
from
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
currently is strongly growing up, it causes a serious problem for everybody who
working
Change the form of the verb
works
show examples
. For that reason, there's an idea about two crucial factors involving
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
: how
people
prefer their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
purpose for
work
is about regular income. Which one is more necessary to improve a better
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
?
This
idea
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
me both views, so
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
am going to explain my opinion in
this
essay. On the one hand, if the reason is about
salary
, there are some advantages.
Firstly
,
salary
could be the most effort for
people
to
work
. for their
consumtion
Correct your spelling
consumption
and living, it is easy to know because money has
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
most necessary for everything nowadays.
Nevertheless
,
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
who just
work
for the paid, they
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
difficultly
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
to find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
comfortable
Replace the word
comfort
show examples
and feeling
theirself
Correct your spelling
their self
in
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
has
Verb problem
get
show examples
stucked
Correct your spelling
stuck
in
Correct article usage
a mess
show examples
mess
Correct article usage
a mess
show examples
when they working.
For example
, there are lots of
people
who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
but they still
feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
stressed and want to give up.
On the other hand
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
liking of
job
is the better
factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
show examples
, it can bring more meaning
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, that's a great feeling because
people
can do the thing they
love
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
For that reason, they can
work
more effectively, and if they
love
their
job
enough they hardly
find
Verb problem
feel
show examples
stressed.
However
there're
Correct your spelling
there are
show examples
also
some drawbacks, some of
jobs
Add an article
the jobs
show examples
they
love
are not
Change the verb form
do not bring
show examples
bring
Verb problem
get
show examples
them
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paid enough for their life, it
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
favourite
Correct pronoun usage
their favourite
show examples
activities or hobbies it
also
causes
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. Example for some streamers upload
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
about games to receive money from views,
although
they
love
their
job
,
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if no one interested in their products they can't
earning
Wrong verb form
earn
show examples
money. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
think both factors
salary
and own
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
about
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
are significant, both are needed for
people
to improve their jobs,
people
should balance them more
reasonable
Change the word
reasonably
show examples
that
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
they can
Correct your spelling
develop
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
their
job
in a better way
Submitted by ASDFGHJKLESSON on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and subsequent sentences should provide support or examples.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points more fully and bring in specific examples or explanations to illustrate your ideas. Avoid making unsupported statements.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task. Include a clear opinion in the conclusion that summarises the essay content and reflects the discussion in the main body.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of vocabulary and pay close attention to word choice to ensure precision and avoid repetition.
task achievement
Check your work for grammatical errors and try to use a variety of sentence structures effectively. Aim for accuracy in both simple and more complex structures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: