The charts below shows the average percentages in typical meals o three types of nutrients l, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The charts below shows the average percentages in typical meals o three types of nutrients l, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
The pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
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the varied proportion of nutrients namely
sodium
, saturated fat and added
sugar
consumed daily
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
lunch
,
dinner
,
breakfast
and
snacks
.
overall
,
sodium
and saturated fats were taken maximum in
dinner
whereas
sugar
was evidently consumed most in
snacks
.
similar
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a similar
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pattern was observed in
sodium
and fat intake during
breakfast
and
snacks
whereas
identical consumption of
sugar
in
breakfast
and
lunch
was seen.
To begin
with,
sodium
had 43% intake in
dinner
and 29% in
lunch
and equal distribution in
snacks
and
breakfast
.
moreover
, trans fats apparently had fluctuating
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
in all 4
meals
. 37% in
dinner
,26% in
lunch
and
snacks
and
breakfast
consisted 21% and 16% .
On the other hand
,
addition
Add an article
the addition
show examples
of
sugar
to
meals
had
Wrong verb form
has
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Correct article usage
a diversed
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diversed
Correct your spelling
diverse
trend .
first
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the first
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meal of
day
Correct article usage
the day
show examples
noticed
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
sugar
intake reporting 16%
whereas
snacks
between the
meals
contained
maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum
show examples
amount (42%) .
however
,
lunch
and
dinner
had 19% and 23% of
sugar
. it is highlighted that
sodium
and fats followed a nearly similar pattern compared to sugars in average percentages of typical
meals
.
Submitted by harvibhatt1705 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, sugar, lunch, dinner, breakfast, snacks, meals with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Saturated fat
  • Trans fat
  • Sodium
  • Carbohydrates
  • Cholesterol
  • Processed foods
  • Nutrient density
  • Dietary guidelines
  • Metabolism
  • Chronic diseases
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Obesity
  • Diabetes
  • Hypertension
  • Recommended daily intake (RDI)
  • Nutritional label
  • Food pyramid
  • Balanced diet
  • Health awareness
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