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Writing Samples /
Band 7

For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this, give details on how you have benefited from the club, explain why you want to leave.

#year #member #club #membership #secretary #type
Dear Mr.Smith, I hope
this
 letter finds you well. My name is Vandana Tomer and I am a member of the City Fitness Club, my member ID is 3244. I am writing
this
 letter to request you to cancel my membership from next month onwards. I own a family membership, in which my children and my husband are
also
 under my account.I have been a part of
this
 club for the
last
 2 years and it will be easy to find me, because I paid all monthly payments, via credit card and debit card. I am very glad to be a part of
this
 farm for almost two years. My doctor recommended
this
 healthcare facility, because of my medical record ( like hypertension and obesity).In the
last
 few months, I have seen drastic changes in my well-being,I lost almost 40 LB of weight and my heart health is way better now.I was like a family member in
this
 gym and I definitely recommend
this
 place to other people. Currently, My husband has a new job,
according to
 his capability and education level, but it is in another city, that's why I want to cancel my membership. Thank you for your attention and Please let me know if you have any questions regarding my request, Thank you, Yours Truly, Vandana Tomer
Submitted by Vanurajput22 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider structuring the content into more focused paragraphs, each addressing one aspect of the letter's requirements (e.g., separating the benefits gained from the club and the reasons for leaving into distinct paragraphs).
coherence cohesion
Make sure that all sentences are clearly linked, using appropriate transitions to improve the flow between sentences and ideas for better logical structuring.
task achievement
While you have covered all tasks asked for in the prompt, you could enhance the impact by elaborating further on your reasons for leaving the club and providing insight into how you plan to sustain your health without the club's facilities.
task achievement
Review your letter to ensure there are no small errors, such as typos or grammatical issues, which can detract from an otherwise suitable writing tone and complete response.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • polite greeting
  • membership cancellation
  • benefited
  • annual/monthly/family/individual membership
  • credit card/direct debit/cash payment
  • positive experiences
  • social interactions
  • fitness improvements
  • personal reasons
  • financial constraints
  • relocation
  • change in interests
  • gratitude
  • procedure
  • notice period
  • courteous explanation
  • future rejoining
  • sign-off
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