IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinionp.

#people #reason #language #travel #work #country #someone #opinionp
Many
people
 say travel and work are the only
excuse
Change the noun form
excuses
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 learning a foreign
language
 in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
country
,
while
 others say that these are not the only
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
. In my opinion, there are many other reasons why
people
 are studying
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 foreign
language
such
 as
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 abroad and entertainment like
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
 and
song
Fix the agreement mistake
songs
show examples
.
This
 essay will discuss both views before going to a logical judgement in the impending paragraph. Learning a new
language
 is not easy for some
people
.
Hence
, many
people
 want to
study
 it only for some excuse, like
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 to and
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
country
. Many of them usually only know
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
basic
Fix the agreement mistake
basics
show examples
 of the
language
, as
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they are staying there only for
short
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
 time, several months or maybe less than a week.
However
, there are a lot of
people
 learning a new
language
due to
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 abroad
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the university or the school
encouraged
Wrong verb form
encourages
show examples
 them to
study
 the
language
 for one year before starting their learning. Nowadays so many
scholarship
Change to a plural noun
scholarships
show examples
 comes from
non-english
Change the capitalization
non-English
show examples
 countries,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
show examples
romania
Change the capitalization
Romania
show examples
 and south korea. They offer to
study
 in their
country
 with no
english
Change the capitalization
English
show examples
 proficiency needed and a requirement to
study
 their
language
 at the beginning.
In addition
, the second reason is to understand the movies they watch and the songs they listen to. Usually someone
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 a subtitle to watch,
eventough
Correct your spelling
even though
 other
people
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
 curious about their pronunciation.
Furthermore
, they are curious what the meaning of the song too. In conclusion, there are a lot of excuses why
somene
Correct your spelling
someone
 should
study
 a foreign
language
, whether it is for a long time or
short
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
 time to visit the
country
 or maybe not visiting the
country
 but either just being a listener of their songs or viewer of their movies.
Submitted by Dedeways244 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Be sure to directly address all parts of the task, presenting clear arguments for both views and your own opinion in a balanced way.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to clearly separate ideas and enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Develop arguments with specific examples and details to effectively support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity and avoid misunderstanding.
coherence cohesion
Work on your conclusion to ensure that it summarizes the main points of your essay and reflects on the arguments presented.
task achievement
Check for spelling and punctuation errors to maintain academic writing standards.
coherence cohesion
Attempt to use a more formal and varied vocabulary to demonstrate a high level of language proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: