Some people think scientific research should focus on solving world health problems. Others think that there are more important issues. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is believed that scientific
research
should place emphasis on addressing global
health
issues
;
however
, some opponents argue that there are more pressing
problems
.
While
it is true that the prime mission of
research
is to improve human
health
, there are more compelling reasons why studying other
issues
can
also
contribute to global well-being. On the one hand, there are a few reasons why dealing with global
health
concerns should be given adequate attention. First of all, outbreaks of infectious diseases can threaten the lives of many people around the world. If scientists dedicate more time and effort to researching, the government can better prevent, detect and respond to
such
fatal diseases.
Moreover
, global
health
problems
also
affect international trading and the national economy.
For example
, in the case of COVID-19, many nations reached the brink of recession. Without urgent scientific
research
for
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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vaccines and medication,
this
pandemic may threaten the physical and financial well-being of millions of global citizens.
However
, other environmental and economic
problems
should be prioritized because they are determinants of international
health
issues
as well. In terms of the environment, many alarming
issues
such
as global warming, pollution, and deforestation have led to severe weather, global famine, and the spread of various diseases.
Therefore
, using science to find the causes and solutions
of
Change preposition
to
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such
problems
should be the top priority.
In addition
, economic
issues
such
as poverty or inflation result in poor living conditions, lack of healthcare accessibility, and resources for healthcare advancements. Tackling these serious
issues
by intensive studies may act as a pre-emptive measure against
health
crises. In conclusion,
although
it is reasonable to attach importance to
health
research
, my conviction is that there are more critical environmental and economic
issues
which require scientific
research
.

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is developed thoroughly. Specific examples to support your points could be more detailed to enhance the argument.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure, transitions between ideas can be improved for a smoother flow. Consider adding more linking words and phrases.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened. The introduction should more clearly outline the discussion points, and the conclusion should succinctly restate your opinion and summarise the main arguments.

Your opinion

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