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The increasing use of credit cards has led to a rise in personal dept. Some people argue that this is a problem that needs to be addressed, while others argue that it is a necessary part of modern life. Discuss both sides of this argument and give your own opinion.

#credit #cards #rise #dept #people #part #life #argument
The table compares The number of
visitors
 who
visit
Wrong verb form
visited
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 Ashdown
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
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 before and after of museum
refurbishment
 and the charts illustrate the polls
asked
Wrong verb form
asking
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visitors
Satisfaction
Change preposition
about Satisfaction
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 before and
after
this
change
Overall
, what stands out is that the number of people visiting
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 risen considerably.
Moreover
,
high
Add an article
a high
the high
show examples
 proportion of
visitors
 were not satisfied before reconstruction,
while
vast
Add an article
the vast
show examples
 majority of individuals are content with
New
Correct article usage
the New
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 changes. As can be seen, exactly half of
visitors
Add an article
the visitors
show examples
 were very dissatisfied and dissatisfied before redecorating, With 10 and 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively,
whereas
 3/4 of
visitors
 have become satisfied and very satisfied after
refurbishment
, with 40 and 35% respectively. before
refurbishment
Add a comma
refurbishment,
show examples
 just 15% of
visitors
 were very satisfied which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is 35% after it which is
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
show examples
change
. Another remarkable
change
 refers to
dissatisfied
Correct article usage
the dissatisfied
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 group which
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 from 40% before to 15% after
refurbishment
.
Also
, very dissatisfied declined by half.
In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 the same person of people
don't
Correct pronoun usage
who don't
show examples
 answer or participate
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the surveys in both time
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
 come on with just 5%.
this
 is evident from
Correct article usage
the table
show examples
table
Correct article usage
the table
show examples
 that
this
change
 was satisfactory
Change preposition
in attracting
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attracting
Change preposition
in attracting
show examples
 more
visitors
 to
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
 in comparison with the past.
Submitted by hanz.hyz326 on

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Structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each part should have a specific purpose - introduction to present the topic and your thesis, body paragraphs to discuss each side of the argument, and conclusion to summarize and state your opinion.
Support
Make sure your main points are well supported with explanations or examples. Each body paragraph should have a clear central idea that is elaborated on with specifics.
Cohesion
Work on paragraphing and use a range of linking words to help the reader follow your argument more easily. This also includes overall organization and how one idea flows to the next.
Task Response
Address all parts of the task. Make sure to discuss both sides of the argument and provide a clear opinion on the issue. It seems like the essay you provided is off-topic and does not address the credit card debt issue mentioned. Ensure your essay stays on topic throughout.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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