Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often believed that
museums
and art
galleries
have reduced their importance thanks to a computer which allows people to see valuable artworks from the past. I generally disagree with this
, for they offer a unique experience that is
not provided by the digital device despite its growing popularity.
On the one hand, museums
and art
galleries
are essential since they provide a special moment for inspiration. In other words
, a number of collections of historical paintings and sculptures are exhibited to surprise the viewers with the sophisticated skills of each artist to produce such
precise images. Furthermore
, the strong touches of the brush, which are hardly recognized on the computer screen, make them look more animated to the visitors, who feel like they are actually in the scene. For instance
, they are able to experience the feeling of exhaustion of the workers, smell glasses and hear the voices of others as well as
understand the severe poverty and the harsh physical workload, when observing the painting called "Gleaning" carefully. Therefore
, museums
and art
galleries
can offer stimulating experiences that are not attained on the digital screen.
On the other hand
, there is a declining need for art
facilities due to
the prevalent uses of computers today. Indeed, they have made it more convenient for everyone to access a wide range of information, which is often sorted by category, chronological order and artists. Moreover
, they include insightful explanations for each artwork from specialists, leading to the accumulation of knowledge about their beliefs and facts in history. Consequently
, interest in art
increases even among those who have never been to museums
thanks to the abundant materials of art
online.
In conclusion, I have a partial disagreement about the reduced need for museums
and art
galleries
for the incredible impression people can gain. However
, the growing spread of technological devices which allow them to obtain various information about art
is likely to affect their importance.Submitted by mizuho on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and expands on it with examples and explanations. This structure was well-followed in your essay, contributing significantly to its clarity and effectiveness.
task achievement
To further improve your essay, consider varying sentence structures and using a broad range of vocabulary to express your ideas more vividly. This approach will enhance the readability and engagement of your text.
task achievement
Continue to provide detailed examples to support your points, as you did with the painting 'Gleaning.' This strategy is very effective at illustrating your claims and making your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
You effectively introduced and concluded your essay, clearly presenting your standpoint and summarizing your argument.
coherence cohesion
You excellently used paragraphing to organize your ideas logically, supporting each point with detailed examples and explanations.
task achievement
Your essay displays a strong task achievement by completely responding to the task, presenting clear and comprehensive ideas, and supporting them with relevant and specific examples.