A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter, describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts say how you think the company should spend the money Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,
#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children’s #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #summarise #addresses #sir #madam
Dear Sir ,
I am writing
this
letter to show my gratitude towards your company as you are going to organize an amzing
Correct your spelling
amazing
events
for the welfare of the local community.
All the sports have great benefits as it is a good exercise which will bring punctuality and enthusiasm Fix the agreement mistake
event
in
the lives of children. If your company spend some money Change preposition
into
in
Change preposition
on
the
sports it will be a great opportunity for the younger ones as they will have Correct article usage
apply
extra curricular
activities to perform at their school. Correct your spelling
extracurricular
Moreover
, some of them wants
to Change the verb form
want
bceome
an international player and will make their country proud.
Concerts Correct your spelling
become
also
play a crucial role as it
act as Correct pronoun usage
they
a
stress busters and all the local citizens will enjoy Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
with
their near and dear ones Correct pronoun usage
themselves with
also
get Correct word choice
and also
chance
to devalue their stress. I would like to suggest Correct article usage
a chance
you
that spending money Change preposition
to you
in
Change preposition
on
the
sports will have Correct article usage
apply
enomorous
advantages, Correct your spelling
enormous
numerous
hence
pupils would love these efforts . Moreover
, you should consult with the principal of the school and he will guide you with
more accurately.
I am so excited to know about which suggestions will be accepted by you . I am looking forward to hearing from you .
Yours faithfully,
SamChange preposition
apply
Submitted by Kaurharvinder2984 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the response is organized with clear paragraphs that each focus on a single point. The benefits of sponsoring the sports team and funding the concerts need to be distinctly highlighted in separate paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas should be linked together more clearly, with greater use of cohesive devices to make logical connections apparent throughout the letter.
Task Achievement
It is important to understand all parts of the task and respond to each one fully. Ensure the letter describes the benefits of the sports sponsorship and concert funding in more detail and provide a clearer, well-supported opinion on which option the company should choose.
Task Achievement
Although the tone of the letter is mostly suitable, ensure that formal language is consistently used throughout and avoid using conversational or informal phrases that might undermine the formality of the letter.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use 'Dear Sir or Madam,' as instructed to begin the letter and close it appropriately. Refrain from starting with 'Dear Sir ,' since this ignores half of the potential audience and misses the comma after 'Sir'. Close the letter with either 'Yours sincerely' or 'Yours faithfully' followed by your name.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
