IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You have just started a course in a college which has no facilities of its own. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sport club

#course #college #facilities #manager #sport #club
Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to request your private
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
club
. I am enrolled on the
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 course at
collage
Correct your spelling
college
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, which has no facilities of its own.
However
,
due to
 unforeseen
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 at the college, I have had to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
Change preposition
on the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 private
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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club
 for a
while
 to my health and become a bodybuilder. I am interested in your private
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
club
.
Becouse
Correct your spelling
Because
 it has
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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many benefits , conveniences and its nearest private
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
club
 to me. I would like to
request
Verb problem
ask
show examples
 some questions about
facilities
Correct article usage
the facilities
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 of the private
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
club
 and how much
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 costs
of
Change preposition
for
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week
Correct article usage
a week
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, month or a year. I would be grateful if you could give me
hand
Correct article usage
a hand
show examples
 to my enrolment. I am
expecting
Add the particle
expecting to
show examples
 receive to your private
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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club
. I apologise for the short notice and for any
inconveniences
Fix the agreement mistake
inconvenience
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coused
Correct your spelling
caused
. Thank you in advance for your help and I hope to be able to update you on the situation soon.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 faithfully Akrom
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a distinct topic or idea to improve organization within your letter. Use a clear introductory paragraph, follow with a main body of multiple paragraphs that each address one point, and finish with a concluding paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and sentences, making your letter flow more naturally and improve overall coherence.
task achievement
Address all aspects of the task prompt. Specifically, ensure you make clear, direct requests regarding the information you need about the sport club, such as facilities and costs, and any particular requirements you have due to your course.
task achievement
Check for grammatical errors and include a range of sentence structures to create a more sophisticated response.
task achievement
Maintain a formal tone throughout the letter appropriate for writing to a manager, which you have done well, but ensure to use correct spelling of words like 'college' and 'because' to maintain this formality.
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