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Band 5

You have just started a course in a college which has no facilities of its own. Write a letter to the manager of private sports club. In your letter Introduce yourself Say why you are interested in this sportc centre Ask some questions about the club e.g. facilities,members,cost

#course #college #facilities #manager #sports #club #sportc #centre #questions #e #g #members #cost
Dear Sir or Madam, My name is Nozigul. And I have just started studying at
this
 college.
This
 place
have
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has
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 more conveniences for studying and laboratory.
However
, I can't find any facilities for students who are keen on different types of
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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. Because
,
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apply
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 I had attended sports club about a year before I came here. And I was always busy with boxing. So, I have planned to join some courses soon . One of my teachers
have
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has
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suggested me your club which is famous around the area. And
also
 most of my classmates are enjoying
spend
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spending
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 their time in your
sport
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sports
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 center.
Firstly
, I have searched
some
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for some
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 information
to know
Verb problem
apply
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about courses and coaches. Because I needed to know about
this
 course's condition . After that, I am really looking forward to
visit
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visiting
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 your
sport
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sports
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center
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centre
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. Actually, I am writing to ask about
cost
Add an article
the cost
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for
Change preposition
of
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 a month or a week. And how many people have enrolled on your courses ? I would be grateful if you could provide information on facilities in your club . I look forward
reply
Add the particle
to reply
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 from you soon. Yours faithfully, Nozigul
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly sets the context for your letter. Briefly mention your purpose for writing in the introduction to create a smooth transition to the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating more logical connections between your ideas. Use a variety of cohesive devices (e.g., moreover, however, in addition) to make the text flow more naturally.
coherence cohesion
End your letter with a more formal closing statement. Consider using 'I look forward to your prompt reply' instead of 'I look forward reply from you soon.', to make your closing more polished.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This helps the reader to follow your arguments and requests easily.
task achievement
Address the task's requirements fully by including all requested information. For instance, if you're asked to mention specific facilities you're interested in, ensure you do so.
task achievement
Maintain a consistently formal or semi-formal tone appropriate to the context. Watch for informal expressions or overly casual language, and replace them with more formal equivalents.
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