IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want asl your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • explain why you want to take time off work • give a details of the amount of time you need • suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

#company #time #work #asl #manager #amount
Dear sir I am writing
this
 letter to request that I am going to travel and relax
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the next month of
this
 year.So I want to get a holiday.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
 days
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am spending much more time
to
Change preposition
at
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 work,
also
 I am working
hardly
Rephrase
hard
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. So I am tired of work One day my friends
offer
Wrong verb form
offered
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 me
to
Change preposition
apply
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a trip
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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America.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 I was very happy and
receive
Wrong verb form
received
show examples
this
 offer. So I should
departure
Replace the word
depart
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 on
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 day of
this
 next month with my friends. I will come back after a month.
Nenetheless
Correct your spelling
Nonetheless
 during
this
 time my workmate Paul
work
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
 to cover my position. I only believe
he
Correct pronoun usage
him
show examples
,because he is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 agile and stickybeak person. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you in advance for your assistance
Your
Correct pronoun usage
Yours
show examples
 faithfully Alan Gordon
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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logical structure
Ensure the letter has a clear structure: introductory sentence, one paragraph for each bullet point, and a conclusive paragraph.
greeting and closing
Use more formal greetings and signatures in letters to your manager. Instead of 'Dear sir' and 'Your faithfully', use 'Dear [Manager's Name]' and 'Yours faithfully, [Your Name]'.
single idea per paragraph
Dedicate one paragraph to each of the points mentioned in the IELTS task. This helps maintain focus and clarity throughout the letter.
complete response
Clarify the reason for your leave request by providing specific examples of your current work fatigue and the importance of the trip for your wellbeing.
suitable writing tone
Adopt a more formal and professional tone throughout the letter. Avoid slang and overly casual expressions such as 'stickybeak person'. Use complete sentences and check for grammatical mistakes.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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