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Band 4

Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs and other leisure activities. What are the harmful effects of such violent programs on children? What are the solutions for this problem?

#parents #amount #violence #children #computer #games #tv #programs #leisure #activities #effects
Technology
Replace the word
The technological
show examples
 revolution has
a
Add a missing verb
had a
show examples
big impact on our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Using technology has both sides: advantages and disadvantages. Naturally, parents become unhappy
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs and other leisure activities. What are the harmful effects of
such
 violent programs on children? What are the solutions
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 problem?
Submitted by zr.a.r on

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Logical Structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should briefly outline your argument, while the conclusion should summarize your main points.
Introduction & Conclusion Presence
Introduce and conclude your essay explicitly. Start with a sentence that introduces the topic and end with a conclusion that wraps up your argument.
Supported Main Points
Develop your main points with explanations and examples. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by detailed evidence.
Complete Response
Address the prompt directly by discussing the harmful effects of violent programs on children and proposing solutions. Make sure to fully answer each part of the question.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Clarify and expand upon your ideas. Ensure that the connection between violent media and its effects on children is explored in depth, offering detailed reasoning and examples.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Use specific, real-world examples to illustrate your points. This could involve research findings, statistics, or anecdotal evidence that supports your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aggressive behavior
  • desensitization
  • anxious
  • empathize
  • social skills
  • skew
  • perception of reality
  • monitor
  • age-appropriate content
  • educational content
  • non-violent content
  • media literacy
  • critically analyze
  • impact
What to do next:
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