Some people believe that teachingchildren at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

There are split opinions regarding the methods of teaching children for their development. Some believe that it is good to teach them at
home
for a better future,
whereas
, another group of thinkers support that they should go to
schools
to learn more than just study.
However
, both have their own pros and cons.
Therefore
, before commenting on my decision, both opinions would be discussed. Examining the former opinion, the primary argument the supporters would put forward is the comfort that children can have at
home
.
This
is because they will not have to deal with some bullies at school and they can learn more at
home
while
joining some online courses from
home
.
In addition
, they
also
believe that it will
also
save their time by not going to
schools
. The reason is that they need the internet at
home
and can start learning whenever they want even at night.
On the contrary
, the second view suggests that
schools
are important for students to become ready for society because they will have to face different types of people at school.
In addition
, the fact that moral values and dealing with problems can be only learnt at
schools
.
This
is because students learn manners of sitting, talking and treating others and learn from other students as well.
Thus
, to wrap up the discussion and voice my opinion, It can be said that despite the issue of going out of the comfort area, I believe
schools
are rational. In the big picture,
this
would improve their way of living in the world.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance Task Achievement: Offer more specific examples and comprehensive details in your argument. Each viewpoint discussed could be strengthened with clearer, more direct examples or evidence that showcases why one method might be preferable. Make sure both sides are equally explored before stating your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve Coherence and Cohesion: Work on creating a smoother flow between ideas using a wider range of cohesive devices. Link sentences and paragraphs more effectively by using linking words (e.g., furthermore, however, in addition) consistently throughout. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all parts of the paragraph support that idea.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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