It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It is a common belief that
happening
Verb problem
taking
risks
in both
; professional and personal lives
,
is not important for Remove the comma
apply
people
. However
, there is a more persuasive argument that taking care of both
risks
in two
different areas such
as in professional lives
and personal lives
, it
could be helpful Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
Change preposition
for people
develop
their Fix the infinitive
to develop
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
skill
for Fix the agreement mistake
skills
next
waves.
On the one hand, Correct article usage
the next
people
could struggle to handle their risks
in the
Remove the article
apply
both
lives
; at their workplace and at home because those things Correct pronoun usage
their lives
no
happen at once, but if the Verb problem
do not
two
things occur in
the same time. Change preposition
at
This
situation brings about the worst case in their lives
to control their livelihood and career together. For example
, a woman who has their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
children
as a single mother have
to work for Change the verb form
has
living
and care Add an article
a living
her
Change preposition
for her
children
after work, it could be harsh to address the
Remove the article
apply
both
circumstances, and it causes problems to
her Change preposition
for
children
as well. This
should be not a stable condition to care the
Change preposition
for the
children
since their mother should spend much time to control
them in Change the verb form
controlling
the
different places. To prevent the worst cases, taking Correct article usage
apply
two
different risks
is not important and essential.
Nevertheless
, a certain situation with occurring two
risks
from the professional and personal lives
,
could be helpful to Remove the comma
apply
people
to solve both
hardships and develop their problem solving
capabilities since there should be worst circumstances happening at once several times in future. Here evident research has shown that Add a hyphen
problem-solving
people
have
achieved the most successful achievements in their Correct pronoun usage
who have
career
and caring for their Fix the agreement mistake
careers
children
have prominent a
Correct article usage
apply
problem shooting
Add a hyphen
problem-shooting
skill
and when other problems come up to them, they don't lose their Fix the agreement mistake
skills
concentrations
on them and keep their Fix the agreement mistake
concentration
lives
more safe
.
To sum it all up, Replace the words
safer
while
there are some disadvantages to happening
Verb problem
apply
two
risks
in their workplace and home is
not easy to handle Correct subject-verb agreement
are
for
Change preposition
apply
them
, it is evident that the advantages of solving Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
worst situation makes
them more strong to solve upcoming other Change the verb form
make
risks
.Submitted by lss870311 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct introductory, body, and concluding paragraphs. Use internal logic to connect these sections and make your argument flow smoothly. Employ topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and use cohesive devices (such as conjunctions and linking phrases) to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, make sure to address all parts of the prompt in a balanced way, showing a clear position throughout your essay. Develop your arguments with well-elaborated main points and supplement them with specific, relevant examples. It's also essential to stay on topic and make sure every part of your essay contributes to answering the question.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.