You work for an international company and you need some time off to attend a family celebration. Write a letter to the company's manager. In your letter: • give details of the celebration • explain the reason why you need time off • suggest a way to have your work done during that time.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing
this
letter to you to request. I am wondering if I could take a couple
days off to meet my family and friends and Add the preposition
couple of
also
to celebrate my mother's birthday. It will be very
special date for us. Add an article
a very
This
birthday party will start on Friday evening and will last
whole
weekend.
I am planning to leave work on Thursday, March 1stAdd an article
the whole
a whole
,
because I will have to prepare places like restaurants and Remove the comma
apply
hotel
as we are planning to celebrate Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
mother's
birthday Capitalize word
Mother's
at
the city and Change preposition
in
also
I want to visit my hometown because I have been there long
time. In Add an article
a long
this
two days Correct determiner usage
these
of
Change preposition
apply
that
I will be away, I will Add a comma
that,
from
home and inform my Add a missing verb
be from
colleague
about the work that they need to do and Fix the agreement mistake
colleagues
also
I will check my email and answer my phone to assist them in
Change preposition
with
everyday
they need .
I really appreciate Replace the word
every day
if
you could give me these days Correct pronoun usage
it if
of
because I really want to be with my family Change preposition
off
in
Change preposition
at
this
special moment of
their life.
Yours faithfully,
Diana.Change preposition
in
Submitted by omondavlat91 on
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Introduction Clarity
Be clear and concise in your introduction and throughout your letter, ensuring each paragraph serves a unique purpose. Your opening lines should immediately inform the reader of your letter's purpose.
Paragraphing
Use paragraphing to separate different ideas, ensuring that each paragraph deals with a distinct aspect of your request. Your letter does a good job in this aspect but ensuring clarity in the purpose of each section could be improved.
Sentence Structure
Work on your sentence structure and vary your sentence lengths to improve readability and flow. Also, pay attention to grammar, particularly tense and preposition use.
Closing
Closing your letter appropriately is essential. Yours faithfully, is suitable for the tone of this letter, showing respect and formality.
Task Response
For task achievement, ensure you thoroughly explain the reason for your time off and suggest a clear strategy for managing your workload in your absence. You've done this, but being more precise about how your work will be covered could strengthen your request.
Vocabulary
Work on enhancing your letter with a more varied vocabulary and more precise language to improve the overall impact of your message. Using specific examples or more detailed descriptions can enhance clarity and engagement.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
