Some people think that parents should limit the time their children spend watching TV and playing computer games and encourage them to read books instead. Do you agree or disagree?

lmao I do not agree because not only does doing gaming things on a computer provide the
child
with creativity but
also
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
greatly
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
stress First,enjoying games on technological devices could help offspring create their own thing in their minds.To explain
further
,the
child
with a determining mindset will use technology as a tool in order to conquer knowledge that they have not ever experienced.
As a result
,the devices
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the youngster use will not exterminate the time they have consumed uselessly but
instead
place a question in their brain with creation and quality brainstorming experience.
Finally
,a computer in a young
child
's hand will be a stress-reducing engine that significantly prevents them from being overloaded.To put it simply,after an exhausting day,the children already sacrificed the whole day just to absorb the new ability to adjust their life with better soft and hard skills which drained their mental state.
Thus
,
this
will cause offspring to just want to relax and computers can greatly reduce the risk of
this
. well great enough that having technology in a
child
's hand can help them to create more and increase their mental life
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structure
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. An effective essay starts with an introduction that presents the topic and your viewpoint, followed by body paragraphs that support your stance, and concludes with a summary of your argument. Make sure every essay includes these components.
coherence
The logical flow between your ideas is somewhat difficult to follow. To enhance coherence, use transitional words or phrases, such as 'firstly,' 'furthermore,' and 'consequently,' to connect your sentences and paragraphs smoothly.
content
Your essay would benefit from a broader range of specific examples and evidence to support your points. Including detailed examples makes your argument more compelling and helps to clarify your position to the reader.
task response
To fully respond to the task, make sure you address all parts of the prompt. Your essay should directly answer the question by clearly stating whether you agree or disagree and explaining why, with detailed reasoning and examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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