IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You work for an international company and you need some time off to attend a family celebration. Write a letter to the company's manager. In your letter: Give details of the celebration Explain the reason why you need time off Suggest a way to have your work done during that time.

#work #company #time #celebration #manager #reason
Dear Sir or Madam Hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
 letter to you to request
one-week
Correct article usage
a one-week
show examples
 holiday, because I have to attend a very vital family celebration. I am planning to go
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vacation
due to
 my brother's wedding party
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 is going to be held in our hometown-Mubarek. We have planned all the things for
this
 event,
for example
: the place where we celebrate
this
 party is the "Diydor" restaurant. I think it will be a great party. You cannot imagine how
this
Correct word choice
important this
show examples
 celebration is
significant
Correct word choice
apply
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for me. There is just one person who always supported me in difficult situations and that's my brother. So, it will be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 unacceptable mistake if I don't attend
this
 celebration. Well, I am taking a week off and I already have planned who can be responsible for my work during
this
 time. And, that's my best colleague Shokh. I know he is so
hard-working
Correct article usage
a hard-working
show examples
 person and that's why I have arranged for him to take care of my work. Don't worry, I know he can easily do it because of his experience in his previous work. I look forward to your reply Yours sincerely Pulat
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
While your letter is well-structured overall, it could benefit from more effective paragraphing, separating the introduction, body, and conclusion for greater clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure you include a suitable greeting and closing; "Dear Sir or Madam" is appropriate, but try to conclude more professionally, perhaps with 'Kind regards' followed by your name.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, make sure you fully address all parts of the prompt. You did well in explaining the celebration and suggesting a replacement, but detailing the impact of your absence can strengthen your response.
Task Achievement
Consider using a more formal tone throughout the letter, avoiding informal expressions (e.g., 'wich', 'going to be held', 'great party'). Aim for precision and formality in language to reflect professional correspondence.
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