You work for an international company and would like to spend six months working in its head office. In another country. Write a letter to your manager in your letter. •Explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months. •Say how your work could be done while you are away. •Ask for his help in arranging it.

#work #company #six #months #head #office #country #manager #•explain #company’s #•say #•ask

Dear Mr Craig, I am writing to let you know that I am willing to relocate to our company's headquarters at 134 Flanders Road, Westborough, MA, USA for 6 months. Let me explain my situation in more detail, I have been working as a data analyst for the past three years in the data management team under your supervision.

While

I really enjoyed myself a lot as a remote worker, I wish to collaborate on-site with my seniors it will not only help me to socialise with the workforce but

also

I will foster my skills efficiently.

For instance

, as we are moving towards location data automation,

this

could be achieved effectively when the whole team works at the same location and discourses about the problems and solutions.

Nonetheless

, I have planned a six-month workload which is assigned to team members.

Moreover

, we scheduled a weekly meeting on Monday to answer queries, if there are any and report our progress on a daily basis.

Therefore

, would you kindly accept my request and provide me with an approval letter? That will help me with the visa and travelling documentation. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Haris Khan

Submitted by kashikaranti on Sat Mar 16 2024

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Task Achievement

Be more explicit about the benefits for the company of your relocation, not just the personal and team development aspects.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a variety of connective words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure your request and the reasons for it are clear from the beginning of your letter to maintain focus and logical structure throughout.

Task Achievement

Consider using a more formal closing to match the formal greeting and overall tone of the letter.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

204 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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