IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

In many countries nowadays, people in big cities prefer to live alone or in small family units rather than larger, extended family groups. Is it a positive or negative trend?

#countries #people #cities #units #groups #trend
The number of people opting to reside in small apartments by themselves has been steadily increasing.
While
 some argue that the disadvantages of
this
 trend outweigh its merits, I firmly believe that it is a positive development as it signifies positive personal growth and economic development. Living alone or with a small family allows individuals to experience greater freedom and personal space. It becomes more convenient for them to engage in their passions and hobbies outside of work without being accountable to extended family
members
. In a nuclear family, which is small by nature, responsibilities are divided and assigned, enabling family
members
 to dedicate more time to pursuing their interests.
Furthermore
, when living independently, individuals do not have to concern themselves with the opinions or responsibilities of other family
members
.
This
 provides them with additional time for reflection and self-improvement, which is crucial for personal growth.
Moreover
, economic stability plays a significant role in the decision to live in a small family or independently. It is notably easier to manage financial responsibilities when living alone or with a partner and only one child.
This
 allows for better financial planning, as it can provide a higher quality of life for their children and savings for emergencies.
Additionally
, living independently encourages individuals to develop essential life skills
such
 as personal financial management, household chores, cooking, and shopping. Independent living
also
 means not having to provide for other family
members
 continually, which helps avoid excessive expenses. In conclusion, I am confident that the trend toward smaller households and independent living is beneficial for society as a whole. It offers increased personal space and freedom,
along with
 financial advantages and valuable life skills.
Submitted by nguyenlyacbd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
In order to improve your task response further, aim to make your main ideas clearer and more comprehensive. Additionally, enrich your essay by including more specific examples that directly relate to your arguments, making them more persuasive and grounded in reality.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows good logical flow and coherence. To enhance this even further, consider varying your sentence structures and linking phrases to make the progression of ideas smoother. Practicing more complex sentence structures can make your essay more sophisticated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: