Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The question of what components contribute to
one
's
success
in life is a multifaceted
one
. Some emphasize the significance of diligence and persistence,
whereas
others attribute
success
to other factors like wealth and good looks. In
this
essay, both sides will be explored, followed by my opinion. On the
one
hand, advocates of hard work and determination argue that
success
stems from personal development and self-improvement. By setting goals, working diligently, and persevering through challenges, individuals can achieve their desired outcomes. They believe that these qualities cultivate resilience, enabling individuals to bounce back from setbacks and failures.
This
is because they learn from their experiences, adapt to changing circumstances, and continue to strive for
success
despite obstacles.
Furthermore
, the journey of being hard-working and diligent fosters valuable character traits
such
as discipline, resilience, perseverance, and grit. These qualities are essential for long-term
success
and fulfilment in various aspects of life.
On the other hand
, some believe that
success
is heavily influenced by factors
such
as wealth and appearance, as they provide access to resources, networks, and opportunities that can accelerate
one
's path to
success
.
That is
why individuals born into affluent families or possessing certain physical attributes may have inherent advantages in society.
Moreover
, money and appearance are often associated with societal status and prestige. To be more specific, people may judge
success
based on external markers
such
as material wealth, physical attractiveness, and social standing, rather than intrinsic qualities or achievements.
For example
, celebrities
such
as actresses and pop stars stand out
due to
the fact that they have appealing appearances, giving them opportunities to gain funding from companies and build a reputation. In conclusion,
although
factors
such
as money and appearance may offer advantages in certain contexts, I firmly believe that
success
in life primarily comes from hard work and determination.
While
external elements may influence opportunities and perceptions, they do not guarantee sustained
success
or fulfilment. True
success
is rooted in the journey of self-discovery, continuous learning, and the relentless pursuit of
one
's passions and goals.
Submitted by nguyenlyacbd on

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task response
Expand on the ways that factors such as money and appearance can specifically influence success, providing more detailed examples or scenarios.
coherence and cohesion
Introduce clearer transitions or connectors between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay and make the progression of your argument more evident.
task response
Consider integrating counterarguments or potential weaknesses of the main viewpoints to add depth to your analysis and demonstrate critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Use a varied range of vocabulary and sentence structures to convey your points more dynamically, making the essay engaging and demonstrating your language proficiency.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • resilience
  • effort
  • tenacity
  • external factors
  • financial resources
  • favorable appearance
  • perceptions
  • advantages
  • intrinsic
  • extrinsic
  • sustainable
  • facilitating
  • undeniable
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