A friend of yours is thinking about applying for the same course that you did at University. He or she has asked for your advice about studying this subject write a letter to your friend in your letter? •give details of the course you took at the University •explain why you recommend the university • give some advice about how to apply

#friend #course #university #advice #•give #•explain

Dear Gurpreet, Hope

this

letter finds you well. you told me

last

week that you are planning to opt for supply chain management at Algoma

University

for your

further

studies. As you

Know

Fix capitalization

know

show examples

I already graduated

Change preposition

with

show examples

the same

course

from the same institute. As I studied

this

course

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is an interesting

course

that will provide you with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

in-depth knowledge of

logistics

Correct article usage

the logistics

show examples

and supply chain

industry

as well as

you will get the proper information on the transportation of goods and services among different companies.

However

, It will

also

help to explore the connection between the movements of products

for instance

food items, clothes, appliances and many more regularly used things from one province to another province

as well as

between different countries.

Moreover

, we come to know how many people are involved in

this

industry

as a result

we can find your future job in

this

industry

. The reason behind the recommendation of Algoma

University

is that here the teaching styles are very unique as teachers teach the students with innovative ideas.

In addition

this

university

will give you the chance to do a paid internship in the supply chain

industry

which will increase your

course

credentials. The application process is very easy just go to the

university

's official website and search for your

course

it will show you the details and you can submit an online application to get admission. In future, If you need any

further

information please don't hesitate and contact me either by call or by email. All the best for your studies. Regards, Kiran

Submitted by kkaur9391 on Sun Mar 17 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

You've structured your letter well by addressing all the points requested from the task. However, to enhance the coherence, consider organizing your ideas more clearly within paragraphs. Each main idea should be introduced in a new paragraph with supporting details to follow. This will improve the readability and logical flow of your letter.

Task Achievement

Despite providing a solid response to the task's requirements, there's room for improvement in expanding your explanations and including more personalized details. For example, in discussing the course details and your recommendation of the university, consider including specific examples or experiences that made this course and university stand out for you. This will enhance your task response by making your advice more comprehensive and tailored to your friend's needs.

General Advise

To improve your letter further, pay attention to minor grammatical errors and sentence structure. While your writing is generally clear, refining these areas can make your communication more effective. Consider revising sentences that might be too long or complex, aiming for simplicity and clarity in your message.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

262 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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