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Band 6.5

Write about the following topic Many university students nowadays live away from their home and their parents because of their university location, while others live with their families. What are the advantages and disadvantages of each situation? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #university #students #home #parents #location #families #situation #answers
Today, a large number of
students
 move far away from their homes and parents
due to
 the location of their university,
while
 some still live with them.
This
 essay will argue that the benefits and drawbacks of living separately and becoming independent are equally important. For
students
 who continue to live at home during their time at university, the major positive is they will not live through that stressful moment of separation from family at the same time as the start of university
life
.
Students
 will adapt to the new lifestyle step by step.
For example
, parents will support a new starter emotionally by giving them the motivation to keep studying well,
as well as
 the absence of financial issues with the payment will not strain the student.
However
, an adult person should keep in control of both his emotional, physical, and mental health status in good condition not depending on their relatives' support.
Moreover
,
while
 studying student should be able to allocate their funds based on requirements. The main advantage for
students
 choosing to find accommodation at their college is personal growth. The pupil will take the obligation to be responsible for his own
life
 and fit in with the social
life
.
As a result
, he or she becomes an independent person with gained
life
 skills for surviving. By
this
 I mean they will be ready to make a decision and learn from their faults, which will be essential in their future
life
. In conclusion,
students
 who live with their families are out of stress and obligations but
still
Add a comma
still,
show examples
 they will have to adapt to adult
life
 passing challenging times.
In contrast
,
students
 who are far away from their parents become more independent, obtain experience of
life
 and survive.
Submitted by aakbarov2010 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion of both views by exploring each situation's advantages and disadvantages with equal depth. Provide more detailed examples to support your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to express your ideas more clearly and logically. The use of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Moreover', 'In conclusion') is good, but improving the clarity of your argument by using more specific examples will help your essay flow better.
Task Achievement & Coherence & Cohesion
Extend your introduction and conclusion to more clearly outline your essay's structure and summarize the main points convincingly. This gives the reader a clear understanding of your argument and its significance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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